Well, looking at my last post, it's easy to see that the HCG diet didn't work for me. I lost 12 lbs that week, but I was so weak I could barely walk. I'm glad it works for others, but it's not for me.
Yesterday, I started up my low-carb diet. Sad to say, I have gained all my weight back minus 6 lbs or so. I'm not making excuses, but there is a reason all of this happened. I'm not going to go into detail, but I had two heartbreaking tragedies happen to me this year. Needless to say, I plunged into depression and ate my way through these last few months.
Am I better? No. But I have decided to stop hurting myself. I feel exactly the way I did right before being diagnosed with diabetes. Sluggish, body aches, can't walk up stairs, out of breath all the time, TIRED, etc. I HATE the way I feel now. I feel like I'm dying a slow death physically. The difference in how I feel when I was 198 lbs to 249 is like night and day. I want to lose all this weight and lose even more than before!
It's so hard to accept that I had lost 60lbs and gained it all back in a few months. It made me want to give up. It's like even now, every lb I lose won't be a victory because I will be thinking, "Well, I used to weigh 198, so why celebrate 230?" But I know that I can't think that way anymore because if I do, I will never lose the weight. I'm so afraid that even if I lose it for the second time, I will gain it all back again. I keep going over in my mind what happened, and besides the tragedies, I know why. It's because I was looking at this all as a diet and not a lifestyle change. I kept thinking unconsciously that eventually I would lose the weight and be able to go back to eating like 'normal.' What kept me going sometimes was thinking of all the crap I could eventually eat one I lost it all. I just wanted to eat like a normal person. What I have to accept is that a healthy low-carb diet is what is going to have to be normal for me. I can't go back. If I want to keep it off, it's what I have to do for the rest of my life. Does it suck? Yeah, but I'm sure I will get used to it again. It's not that it's hard to eat this way, it just takes so much time. The calorie counting takes time, and the preparation does too. It's not convenient but it works.
Even though no one has made a peep about my weight gain, I know what they are thinking. The diet doesn't work. But that's not true. I made the choice to stop. It works if you stick with it. I was the one who failed, not my diet.
One good that came out of all this is that my husband has kept off the 100lbs that he lost. I'm so proud of him! No one can recognize him. His clothes are tents on him now, lol! He's my inspiration :)
One thing I've been concerned with is that maybe I lost the weight too quickly the first time. I lost 60lbs in 6 months. Was that too quick? I don't know, but maybe. So instead of 1,200 calories, I'm eating 1,500. I need to do some more research on how many calories I'm supposed to be eating exactly.
I have an old treadmill now, so I'm doing 20 min a day like before and will increase according to my ability just like before. When it gets cooler, maybe I can start walking outside again. That will be more of a challenge now because we don't live near the college anymore, but maybe I can walk around our new apt complex.
One think about the Russian Doll is that you can decrease the size to reveal a smaller figure. But you can also increase the size as well. That happens sometimes. However, you can always decrease again. The choice is yours.
Measurements, Waist 49.5', Bust 46.5', Thigh 22.5', Calf 18.75', Neck 16', Wrist 7.5', Forearm 11.5', Upper Arm 16.5', Hips 53'
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