I was somewhat shocked to wake up to find the scale down by over 6 lbs. However, this frequently happens when I come off of my bad days. Usually I will lose about 4 lbs of mostly water, but this was a little more which I can probably attribute to the HCG and water loss. I'm not going to be overly enthusiatic about this because most likely my weight loss will level off.
I was hungry yesterday and hungry today. Not overly so, but that is to be expected the first two days. Also, yesterday before going to bed I was feeling very tired and had flu like symptoms. The real hunger test will come tomorrow.
I had a horrible night! I couldn't sleep all night. I think I may be sick. I have a very bad sore throat. It hurts to swallow and talk. All night I kept having to swallow back saliva and I was very nauseated. I really don't know if this is all connected to the diet or not. If the diet is causing this and it goes on for very much longer, I think I would have to stop. It's terrible. But hopefully, I'm just sick and it will go away soon. But I would still be irritated that I got sick right when I'm having to start this very strict diet. It really doesn't help my motivation. Grr, oh well.
Here's a couple pictures of my lunch and dinner to give you an idea of what I'm eating.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
225 Day 3 HCG
Today is Day 3 of my new diet. It's my first day of VLCD-Very Low Calorie Diet. It's so strange because the last two days I had to 'load' up on fat, calories and protein. Yet, I was hardly hungry at all. I had to make myself eat! The sweets were pretty easy to eat, but everything else was hard. I really don't know if the HCG was working yet, or if it was psychological, or if it was removing the taboo of eating to capacity. But I just wasn't that hungry. All I could think of was getting started with the new diet! LOL Who know
the reason, but I'm starting the 500 calorie part of it today.
Sat morning I was 225.6. Amazingly, I actually lost a half a pound after these two days!! Usually if I go off my diet on the weekend, I eat way less than I did on these load days and gain several pounds.
I'm very tired. I don't know if it's because I didn't get enough sleep or what. All I want to do is go back to bed. I know I need to take a walk, but I'm afraid it will make me hungry. I think I will though. The hardest part is just deciding what I'm going to eat, even though it's very little. I just hope I'm doing everything right because I don't want to mess anything up. Oh, and I'm peeing like a racehorse even though I'm not drinking much yet. I need to go make myself a big glass of water and get to sipping.
One thing I noticed is that the last two days I had tons of energy! And I used every ounce of it up. We had a lot to do over the weekend and I was pretty active. Maybe I overdid it and that's why I'm tired. Anyway, I hope the energy comes back. So far so good. Not much hunger. Hope that doesn't change anytime soon.
Sat morning I was 225.6. Amazingly, I actually lost a half a pound after these two days!! Usually if I go off my diet on the weekend, I eat way less than I did on these load days and gain several pounds.
I'm very tired. I don't know if it's because I didn't get enough sleep or what. All I want to do is go back to bed. I know I need to take a walk, but I'm afraid it will make me hungry. I think I will though. The hardest part is just deciding what I'm going to eat, even though it's very little. I just hope I'm doing everything right because I don't want to mess anything up. Oh, and I'm peeing like a racehorse even though I'm not drinking much yet. I need to go make myself a big glass of water and get to sipping.
One thing I noticed is that the last two days I had tons of energy! And I used every ounce of it up. We had a lot to do over the weekend and I was pretty active. Maybe I overdid it and that's why I'm tired. Anyway, I hope the energy comes back. So far so good. Not much hunger. Hope that doesn't change anytime soon.
Friday, October 14, 2011
225 Backsliding and a new diet
Yes, you read that right. I've gained back about half of what I lost. I haven't posted in a while because I was having major problems with gaining and losing. I would backslide on the weekends and then gain anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds. I would diet for most of the week and then start my downward spiral beginning anywhere from Wednesday to Friday.
It all started because, since I lost so much weight, my periods had finally for the first time in my womanhood become normal. So, I figured that it was the best time to begin conceiving.When several months went by without me doing so, I think I lost it. Deep inside. Never would I let myself or anyone else see it. So, I punished my body. I guess unconsciously I figured if my body wasn't going to do what it was supposed to then what was the point of it all? I wanted to lose weight in the first place to restore not just my physical health, buy my reproductive health as well.
That went on for oh like 2-3 months. Finally, my 10th anniversary and a vacation to Destin, FL arrived. Oh how happy that all made me. And you know what anniversary celebrations involve...CAKE! I have finally found out that sweets are my downfall. I really thought it was rice, bread, or pasta. But no, it's CAKE.
So, all these things have been a deadly combination. Although I have had some relief from all the counting of calories and weighing of food, I do not feel well. My joints are achy again and I don't have nearly the energy I used to have. You would think that would be enough motivation, but for some reason I feel like my motivation is gone. If you take away one of the major reasons that you had to lose weight (conception for me), it becomes sort of meaningless. So, I have to keep reminding myself that there are plenty other reasons for doing so. Especially because I'm diabetic and need to keep it under control so I don't die and to keep my doctor happy.
Soooo, all that being said, I have decided to try a new diet. I still believe low carb is the way to go. However, I reached a major plateau that I just could not get out of. So, I started doing some research and watching the Dr. Oz show and have come to the conclusion that I want to try the HCG diet. I am going to be using the homeopathic pellets. I'm not going to go into all the specifics of it now, especially because I still have a lot to learn. But I know the basics and am starting tomorrow hopefully. If not, then on Monday.
This diet is controversial and not for everyone. But I've done enough research that I think this might work for me. And if it doesn't, I will go back to low carbing it. I'm not going to give up! I've actually had to pull out of a pair of my old fat jeans and I was so mad about that! I'm not going there again! I was so happy to get under 200lbs and it makes me mad that I allowed it to happen. But it wouldn't be fair to lie to my blog and make everyone think that I kept the weight off forever. I guess deep down inside I thought I could just lose the weight and then go back to eating what I was eating to maintain it. Guess the only way to maintain it is to stay on the diet. So, it really is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix. It's forever.
So, I'm going to document how it goes on this HCG diet. The good, the bad and whatever else comes along. If for any reason I feel sick or just not right, I will stop and go back to what I was doing. Here goes!
It all started because, since I lost so much weight, my periods had finally for the first time in my womanhood become normal. So, I figured that it was the best time to begin conceiving.When several months went by without me doing so, I think I lost it. Deep inside. Never would I let myself or anyone else see it. So, I punished my body. I guess unconsciously I figured if my body wasn't going to do what it was supposed to then what was the point of it all? I wanted to lose weight in the first place to restore not just my physical health, buy my reproductive health as well.
That went on for oh like 2-3 months. Finally, my 10th anniversary and a vacation to Destin, FL arrived. Oh how happy that all made me. And you know what anniversary celebrations involve...CAKE! I have finally found out that sweets are my downfall. I really thought it was rice, bread, or pasta. But no, it's CAKE.
So, all these things have been a deadly combination. Although I have had some relief from all the counting of calories and weighing of food, I do not feel well. My joints are achy again and I don't have nearly the energy I used to have. You would think that would be enough motivation, but for some reason I feel like my motivation is gone. If you take away one of the major reasons that you had to lose weight (conception for me), it becomes sort of meaningless. So, I have to keep reminding myself that there are plenty other reasons for doing so. Especially because I'm diabetic and need to keep it under control so I don't die and to keep my doctor happy.
Soooo, all that being said, I have decided to try a new diet. I still believe low carb is the way to go. However, I reached a major plateau that I just could not get out of. So, I started doing some research and watching the Dr. Oz show and have come to the conclusion that I want to try the HCG diet. I am going to be using the homeopathic pellets. I'm not going to go into all the specifics of it now, especially because I still have a lot to learn. But I know the basics and am starting tomorrow hopefully. If not, then on Monday.
This diet is controversial and not for everyone. But I've done enough research that I think this might work for me. And if it doesn't, I will go back to low carbing it. I'm not going to give up! I've actually had to pull out of a pair of my old fat jeans and I was so mad about that! I'm not going there again! I was so happy to get under 200lbs and it makes me mad that I allowed it to happen. But it wouldn't be fair to lie to my blog and make everyone think that I kept the weight off forever. I guess deep down inside I thought I could just lose the weight and then go back to eating what I was eating to maintain it. Guess the only way to maintain it is to stay on the diet. So, it really is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix. It's forever.
So, I'm going to document how it goes on this HCG diet. The good, the bad and whatever else comes along. If for any reason I feel sick or just not right, I will stop and go back to what I was doing. Here goes!
Friday, July 22, 2011
199.4 Goal Reached!
I finally reached my goal to be under 200lbs! I've lost 58 lbs. I'm proud of myself. I wanted to reach it before an event I had coming up. I hope this weekend doesn't ruin it. It just seems like lately I go up and down so much. All I can do is keep doing what I've been doing. I wish I had the money to treat myself because that keeps me motivated. Oh well. Today I went to my storage unit and got some clothes I had stored away that I haven't worn since before my first anniversary. Most of it fits or is just a little tight which I was shocked. I really didn't think I would fit into any of it. I officially don't have any pants to wear so its off to the thrift store for me. Losing 30 more lbs to reach my ultimate goal seems so much more doable now. It would be nice to reach it by Nov 1st. However, even losing it by the end of the year would be good. Every pound I lose from here on out is a real victory for me.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
203.6
So, not much has changed since I ranted last. However, I don't want to be that negative because it doesn't help anything.
I can pretty much say that July has been a bust. I don't think it's a plateau. I have been making bad choices on the weekend. You reap what you sow. I'm not going to say it hasn't been fun though.
Since summer is here, there's an abundance of snow cones and ice cream along with fireworks and other bad bad, but so good things, lol. We've been hanging out with family and friends and I have been having a lot of fun. I just need to realize that fun doesn't always include lots of treats. Maybe one treat a weekend is enough. One weekend (with Monday being a holiday) I gained 8 lbs! I know exactly what I did wrong. Last weekend, I kept my treats to one per day (Sat. and Sun.) and gained 2 lbs. So, now I know that I can only treat myself to one treat per weekend. That will just have to be enough for now.
I should have reached my Goal by the beginning of July. That didn't happen. I can't waste time beating myself up about it. I've got to move forward. I actually did get down to 202 earlier this month and have working like a dog to get back there and under 200. I'm hoping that it will happen this week. And then if I can maintain on the weekend, I should be making real progress in August! Also, I'm going to have to find a way to refocus!
It's crazy how much attention I'm getting now. I used to get mad because no one noticed, but now it's kind of embarrassing. People sure like to talk about weight and the body, especially when it's not theirs. They always want to know what 'the secret' is and are disappointed when it's the sage old advice of eating less and exercising.
I actually feel completely different now. Nothing in my closet fits. I have no boobs! I don't feel like people are staring when I eat or when I try on clothes. The fact that I can find a bra in my size off the rack is nothing short of amazing to me. It's a whole different world knowing that I don't have to tear the clothing rack apart just to find something in my size.
Other things are different as well. My husband is transforming himself too. I feel like we are dating again! We have so much more energy. We can stay out all weekend without feeling like we were hit by a truck. This is the best 10th anniversary present. It's about time we finally did it. I can't wait to see how much farther we can go.
I can pretty much say that July has been a bust. I don't think it's a plateau. I have been making bad choices on the weekend. You reap what you sow. I'm not going to say it hasn't been fun though.
Since summer is here, there's an abundance of snow cones and ice cream along with fireworks and other bad bad, but so good things, lol. We've been hanging out with family and friends and I have been having a lot of fun. I just need to realize that fun doesn't always include lots of treats. Maybe one treat a weekend is enough. One weekend (with Monday being a holiday) I gained 8 lbs! I know exactly what I did wrong. Last weekend, I kept my treats to one per day (Sat. and Sun.) and gained 2 lbs. So, now I know that I can only treat myself to one treat per weekend. That will just have to be enough for now.
I should have reached my Goal by the beginning of July. That didn't happen. I can't waste time beating myself up about it. I've got to move forward. I actually did get down to 202 earlier this month and have working like a dog to get back there and under 200. I'm hoping that it will happen this week. And then if I can maintain on the weekend, I should be making real progress in August! Also, I'm going to have to find a way to refocus!
It's crazy how much attention I'm getting now. I used to get mad because no one noticed, but now it's kind of embarrassing. People sure like to talk about weight and the body, especially when it's not theirs. They always want to know what 'the secret' is and are disappointed when it's the sage old advice of eating less and exercising.
I actually feel completely different now. Nothing in my closet fits. I have no boobs! I don't feel like people are staring when I eat or when I try on clothes. The fact that I can find a bra in my size off the rack is nothing short of amazing to me. It's a whole different world knowing that I don't have to tear the clothing rack apart just to find something in my size.
Other things are different as well. My husband is transforming himself too. I feel like we are dating again! We have so much more energy. We can stay out all weekend without feeling like we were hit by a truck. This is the best 10th anniversary present. It's about time we finally did it. I can't wait to see how much farther we can go.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
207 Rant
It's been a while since I posted. I was waiting to be able to have some good news. It's not all bad I guess.
My weight loss is slowing down considerably. But it's fluctuating as well. A couple weeks ago, I got down to 205. I was soooo happy! I had finally passed the 50lb mark, and 199 was looking very close. I wanted to post on that day, but I got busy. It's not that I got too confident. I think in fact I became more strict with myself. For a long time I was only eating about 900-1000 calories per day. I was eating about 100 grams of carbs as well.
First, I tried increasing my caloric intake. However, my carbs increased as well. So, I started doing a modified Atkins diet and started losing again. The problem came in two weekends this month. I wasn't as strict with myself. I expected to gain a couple of pounds like I always do, but last weekend I gained a whopping 4 pounds! I have found that it's so much harder to lose the weight for the second time.
It's sad because all I wanted to do was have fun with my friends. We had a couple over and along with my vegan food, I had a few pieces of banana nut bread. I thought since I had eaten better during the day that I could afford it. The next day, we had Chinese with them and then a snow cone. Now, I don't usually do that. But we were having fun. Everyone was having one. It was a sweltering day, and I really enjoyed that snow cone! But that night we also had fast food. I should have known better.
I feel like I'm never going to be able to let up on dieting for the rest of my life. I already knew that, but I thought an occasional slip up would be OK. I guess not. I guess I'm always going to have to be the odd man out. The one who passes up a slice of cake. Or a snow cone. Or whatever is the treat of the day. Because I can't afford these slip ups. It's hard for me to come to terms with that. My body has changed significantly, but I still can't just relax and enjoy it. It's going to be a constant battle with my body. Even though I'm not super happy about it, I know it's just something I have to do. I have to trade a little fun for my health.
So now, I'm eating between 1,200 and 1,500 calories. I need to keep it at 1,200 though and limit the carbs. I lost a couple pounds this week, but I won't be able to breathe easy till I get past 205. I hate going backwards and staying there for so long! I was so confident that I'd be able to get down to 199 by the end of June, and here we are on the last day of June. Just goes to show you that it's not always as easy as you think.
I gotta stay positive!! I've got to look for ways to work through a plateau. I've incorporated weights and abs on most days of the week along with my workout video. I feel like I'm training for an Olympic marathon, lol.
Measurements: Waist 44", Bust 41.5" (wow!), Thigh 19 1/8", Calf 17", Neck 15", Wrist 7 1/8", Forearm 10 7/8", Upper Arm 13.5", Hips 47
My weight loss is slowing down considerably. But it's fluctuating as well. A couple weeks ago, I got down to 205. I was soooo happy! I had finally passed the 50lb mark, and 199 was looking very close. I wanted to post on that day, but I got busy. It's not that I got too confident. I think in fact I became more strict with myself. For a long time I was only eating about 900-1000 calories per day. I was eating about 100 grams of carbs as well.
First, I tried increasing my caloric intake. However, my carbs increased as well. So, I started doing a modified Atkins diet and started losing again. The problem came in two weekends this month. I wasn't as strict with myself. I expected to gain a couple of pounds like I always do, but last weekend I gained a whopping 4 pounds! I have found that it's so much harder to lose the weight for the second time.
It's sad because all I wanted to do was have fun with my friends. We had a couple over and along with my vegan food, I had a few pieces of banana nut bread. I thought since I had eaten better during the day that I could afford it. The next day, we had Chinese with them and then a snow cone. Now, I don't usually do that. But we were having fun. Everyone was having one. It was a sweltering day, and I really enjoyed that snow cone! But that night we also had fast food. I should have known better.
I feel like I'm never going to be able to let up on dieting for the rest of my life. I already knew that, but I thought an occasional slip up would be OK. I guess not. I guess I'm always going to have to be the odd man out. The one who passes up a slice of cake. Or a snow cone. Or whatever is the treat of the day. Because I can't afford these slip ups. It's hard for me to come to terms with that. My body has changed significantly, but I still can't just relax and enjoy it. It's going to be a constant battle with my body. Even though I'm not super happy about it, I know it's just something I have to do. I have to trade a little fun for my health.
So now, I'm eating between 1,200 and 1,500 calories. I need to keep it at 1,200 though and limit the carbs. I lost a couple pounds this week, but I won't be able to breathe easy till I get past 205. I hate going backwards and staying there for so long! I was so confident that I'd be able to get down to 199 by the end of June, and here we are on the last day of June. Just goes to show you that it's not always as easy as you think.
I gotta stay positive!! I've got to look for ways to work through a plateau. I've incorporated weights and abs on most days of the week along with my workout video. I feel like I'm training for an Olympic marathon, lol.
Measurements: Waist 44", Bust 41.5" (wow!), Thigh 19 1/8", Calf 17", Neck 15", Wrist 7 1/8", Forearm 10 7/8", Upper Arm 13.5", Hips 47
Thursday, June 9, 2011
210.2
I'm starting to feel like a different person. Today I got my hair cut and I almost didn't recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. Finally, my face is beginning to look more defined. When I got home, I snapped a few pics of my new haircut and I compared those pics to those of just a month ago and my face is more defined and my neck tendons are showing. I'm very pleased.
What was strange is that this is the first time I've ever met this hair dresser. She asked how much weight I had lost. When I asked how she knew I had lost weight, she said she could just tell when someone has lost weight. That was eye opening! I've never had someone notice something like that about me after knowing me for only 10 minutes.
I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday which was unrelated to my diabetes. My doctor was praising me for my continued weight loss. It had been a month since I'd seen her last and she said that it looked like I had lost more weight. I confirmed and said that I had lost about another 10 lbs, and she looked at my chart and said it had been 11! :)
It hasn't been easy trying to get over another two weeks of stalled weight loss. But I've had a really good week so far. This just encourages me to stick with it even when it seems like I'm going nowhere or even backward. Last weekend I did so much better and even saw that I had lost a pound on Saturday morning. So, I just really have to be diligent and not let myself slip even though I've made so much progress.
I still almost don't believe it. I'm almost to my Goal weight of 199. It's looming closer and closer, I can feel it.
Waist 44.0", Hips 47", Thigh 20", Bust 44", Upper arm 13.5", Calf 17", Wrist 6.34", Neck 15.25"
What was strange is that this is the first time I've ever met this hair dresser. She asked how much weight I had lost. When I asked how she knew I had lost weight, she said she could just tell when someone has lost weight. That was eye opening! I've never had someone notice something like that about me after knowing me for only 10 minutes.
I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday which was unrelated to my diabetes. My doctor was praising me for my continued weight loss. It had been a month since I'd seen her last and she said that it looked like I had lost more weight. I confirmed and said that I had lost about another 10 lbs, and she looked at my chart and said it had been 11! :)
It hasn't been easy trying to get over another two weeks of stalled weight loss. But I've had a really good week so far. This just encourages me to stick with it even when it seems like I'm going nowhere or even backward. Last weekend I did so much better and even saw that I had lost a pound on Saturday morning. So, I just really have to be diligent and not let myself slip even though I've made so much progress.
I still almost don't believe it. I'm almost to my Goal weight of 199. It's looming closer and closer, I can feel it.
Waist 44.0", Hips 47", Thigh 20", Bust 44", Upper arm 13.5", Calf 17", Wrist 6.34", Neck 15.25"
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