I was somewhat shocked to wake up to find the scale down by over 6 lbs. However, this frequently happens when I come off of my bad days. Usually I will lose about 4 lbs of mostly water, but this was a little more which I can probably attribute to the HCG and water loss. I'm not going to be overly enthusiatic about this because most likely my weight loss will level off.
I was hungry yesterday and hungry today. Not overly so, but that is to be expected the first two days. Also, yesterday before going to bed I was feeling very tired and had flu like symptoms. The real hunger test will come tomorrow.
I had a horrible night! I couldn't sleep all night. I think I may be sick. I have a very bad sore throat. It hurts to swallow and talk. All night I kept having to swallow back saliva and I was very nauseated. I really don't know if this is all connected to the diet or not. If the diet is causing this and it goes on for very much longer, I think I would have to stop. It's terrible. But hopefully, I'm just sick and it will go away soon. But I would still be irritated that I got sick right when I'm having to start this very strict diet. It really doesn't help my motivation. Grr, oh well.
Here's a couple pictures of my lunch and dinner to give you an idea of what I'm eating.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
225 Day 3 HCG
Today is Day 3 of my new diet. It's my first day of VLCD-Very Low Calorie Diet. It's so strange because the last two days I had to 'load' up on fat, calories and protein. Yet, I was hardly hungry at all. I had to make myself eat! The sweets were pretty easy to eat, but everything else was hard. I really don't know if the HCG was working yet, or if it was psychological, or if it was removing the taboo of eating to capacity. But I just wasn't that hungry. All I could think of was getting started with the new diet! LOL Who know
the reason, but I'm starting the 500 calorie part of it today.
Sat morning I was 225.6. Amazingly, I actually lost a half a pound after these two days!! Usually if I go off my diet on the weekend, I eat way less than I did on these load days and gain several pounds.
I'm very tired. I don't know if it's because I didn't get enough sleep or what. All I want to do is go back to bed. I know I need to take a walk, but I'm afraid it will make me hungry. I think I will though. The hardest part is just deciding what I'm going to eat, even though it's very little. I just hope I'm doing everything right because I don't want to mess anything up. Oh, and I'm peeing like a racehorse even though I'm not drinking much yet. I need to go make myself a big glass of water and get to sipping.
One thing I noticed is that the last two days I had tons of energy! And I used every ounce of it up. We had a lot to do over the weekend and I was pretty active. Maybe I overdid it and that's why I'm tired. Anyway, I hope the energy comes back. So far so good. Not much hunger. Hope that doesn't change anytime soon.
Sat morning I was 225.6. Amazingly, I actually lost a half a pound after these two days!! Usually if I go off my diet on the weekend, I eat way less than I did on these load days and gain several pounds.
I'm very tired. I don't know if it's because I didn't get enough sleep or what. All I want to do is go back to bed. I know I need to take a walk, but I'm afraid it will make me hungry. I think I will though. The hardest part is just deciding what I'm going to eat, even though it's very little. I just hope I'm doing everything right because I don't want to mess anything up. Oh, and I'm peeing like a racehorse even though I'm not drinking much yet. I need to go make myself a big glass of water and get to sipping.
One thing I noticed is that the last two days I had tons of energy! And I used every ounce of it up. We had a lot to do over the weekend and I was pretty active. Maybe I overdid it and that's why I'm tired. Anyway, I hope the energy comes back. So far so good. Not much hunger. Hope that doesn't change anytime soon.
Friday, October 14, 2011
225 Backsliding and a new diet
Yes, you read that right. I've gained back about half of what I lost. I haven't posted in a while because I was having major problems with gaining and losing. I would backslide on the weekends and then gain anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds. I would diet for most of the week and then start my downward spiral beginning anywhere from Wednesday to Friday.
It all started because, since I lost so much weight, my periods had finally for the first time in my womanhood become normal. So, I figured that it was the best time to begin conceiving.When several months went by without me doing so, I think I lost it. Deep inside. Never would I let myself or anyone else see it. So, I punished my body. I guess unconsciously I figured if my body wasn't going to do what it was supposed to then what was the point of it all? I wanted to lose weight in the first place to restore not just my physical health, buy my reproductive health as well.
That went on for oh like 2-3 months. Finally, my 10th anniversary and a vacation to Destin, FL arrived. Oh how happy that all made me. And you know what anniversary celebrations involve...CAKE! I have finally found out that sweets are my downfall. I really thought it was rice, bread, or pasta. But no, it's CAKE.
So, all these things have been a deadly combination. Although I have had some relief from all the counting of calories and weighing of food, I do not feel well. My joints are achy again and I don't have nearly the energy I used to have. You would think that would be enough motivation, but for some reason I feel like my motivation is gone. If you take away one of the major reasons that you had to lose weight (conception for me), it becomes sort of meaningless. So, I have to keep reminding myself that there are plenty other reasons for doing so. Especially because I'm diabetic and need to keep it under control so I don't die and to keep my doctor happy.
Soooo, all that being said, I have decided to try a new diet. I still believe low carb is the way to go. However, I reached a major plateau that I just could not get out of. So, I started doing some research and watching the Dr. Oz show and have come to the conclusion that I want to try the HCG diet. I am going to be using the homeopathic pellets. I'm not going to go into all the specifics of it now, especially because I still have a lot to learn. But I know the basics and am starting tomorrow hopefully. If not, then on Monday.
This diet is controversial and not for everyone. But I've done enough research that I think this might work for me. And if it doesn't, I will go back to low carbing it. I'm not going to give up! I've actually had to pull out of a pair of my old fat jeans and I was so mad about that! I'm not going there again! I was so happy to get under 200lbs and it makes me mad that I allowed it to happen. But it wouldn't be fair to lie to my blog and make everyone think that I kept the weight off forever. I guess deep down inside I thought I could just lose the weight and then go back to eating what I was eating to maintain it. Guess the only way to maintain it is to stay on the diet. So, it really is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix. It's forever.
So, I'm going to document how it goes on this HCG diet. The good, the bad and whatever else comes along. If for any reason I feel sick or just not right, I will stop and go back to what I was doing. Here goes!
It all started because, since I lost so much weight, my periods had finally for the first time in my womanhood become normal. So, I figured that it was the best time to begin conceiving.When several months went by without me doing so, I think I lost it. Deep inside. Never would I let myself or anyone else see it. So, I punished my body. I guess unconsciously I figured if my body wasn't going to do what it was supposed to then what was the point of it all? I wanted to lose weight in the first place to restore not just my physical health, buy my reproductive health as well.
That went on for oh like 2-3 months. Finally, my 10th anniversary and a vacation to Destin, FL arrived. Oh how happy that all made me. And you know what anniversary celebrations involve...CAKE! I have finally found out that sweets are my downfall. I really thought it was rice, bread, or pasta. But no, it's CAKE.
So, all these things have been a deadly combination. Although I have had some relief from all the counting of calories and weighing of food, I do not feel well. My joints are achy again and I don't have nearly the energy I used to have. You would think that would be enough motivation, but for some reason I feel like my motivation is gone. If you take away one of the major reasons that you had to lose weight (conception for me), it becomes sort of meaningless. So, I have to keep reminding myself that there are plenty other reasons for doing so. Especially because I'm diabetic and need to keep it under control so I don't die and to keep my doctor happy.
Soooo, all that being said, I have decided to try a new diet. I still believe low carb is the way to go. However, I reached a major plateau that I just could not get out of. So, I started doing some research and watching the Dr. Oz show and have come to the conclusion that I want to try the HCG diet. I am going to be using the homeopathic pellets. I'm not going to go into all the specifics of it now, especially because I still have a lot to learn. But I know the basics and am starting tomorrow hopefully. If not, then on Monday.
This diet is controversial and not for everyone. But I've done enough research that I think this might work for me. And if it doesn't, I will go back to low carbing it. I'm not going to give up! I've actually had to pull out of a pair of my old fat jeans and I was so mad about that! I'm not going there again! I was so happy to get under 200lbs and it makes me mad that I allowed it to happen. But it wouldn't be fair to lie to my blog and make everyone think that I kept the weight off forever. I guess deep down inside I thought I could just lose the weight and then go back to eating what I was eating to maintain it. Guess the only way to maintain it is to stay on the diet. So, it really is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix. It's forever.
So, I'm going to document how it goes on this HCG diet. The good, the bad and whatever else comes along. If for any reason I feel sick or just not right, I will stop and go back to what I was doing. Here goes!
Friday, July 22, 2011
199.4 Goal Reached!
I finally reached my goal to be under 200lbs! I've lost 58 lbs. I'm proud of myself. I wanted to reach it before an event I had coming up. I hope this weekend doesn't ruin it. It just seems like lately I go up and down so much. All I can do is keep doing what I've been doing. I wish I had the money to treat myself because that keeps me motivated. Oh well. Today I went to my storage unit and got some clothes I had stored away that I haven't worn since before my first anniversary. Most of it fits or is just a little tight which I was shocked. I really didn't think I would fit into any of it. I officially don't have any pants to wear so its off to the thrift store for me. Losing 30 more lbs to reach my ultimate goal seems so much more doable now. It would be nice to reach it by Nov 1st. However, even losing it by the end of the year would be good. Every pound I lose from here on out is a real victory for me.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
203.6
So, not much has changed since I ranted last. However, I don't want to be that negative because it doesn't help anything.
I can pretty much say that July has been a bust. I don't think it's a plateau. I have been making bad choices on the weekend. You reap what you sow. I'm not going to say it hasn't been fun though.
Since summer is here, there's an abundance of snow cones and ice cream along with fireworks and other bad bad, but so good things, lol. We've been hanging out with family and friends and I have been having a lot of fun. I just need to realize that fun doesn't always include lots of treats. Maybe one treat a weekend is enough. One weekend (with Monday being a holiday) I gained 8 lbs! I know exactly what I did wrong. Last weekend, I kept my treats to one per day (Sat. and Sun.) and gained 2 lbs. So, now I know that I can only treat myself to one treat per weekend. That will just have to be enough for now.
I should have reached my Goal by the beginning of July. That didn't happen. I can't waste time beating myself up about it. I've got to move forward. I actually did get down to 202 earlier this month and have working like a dog to get back there and under 200. I'm hoping that it will happen this week. And then if I can maintain on the weekend, I should be making real progress in August! Also, I'm going to have to find a way to refocus!
It's crazy how much attention I'm getting now. I used to get mad because no one noticed, but now it's kind of embarrassing. People sure like to talk about weight and the body, especially when it's not theirs. They always want to know what 'the secret' is and are disappointed when it's the sage old advice of eating less and exercising.
I actually feel completely different now. Nothing in my closet fits. I have no boobs! I don't feel like people are staring when I eat or when I try on clothes. The fact that I can find a bra in my size off the rack is nothing short of amazing to me. It's a whole different world knowing that I don't have to tear the clothing rack apart just to find something in my size.
Other things are different as well. My husband is transforming himself too. I feel like we are dating again! We have so much more energy. We can stay out all weekend without feeling like we were hit by a truck. This is the best 10th anniversary present. It's about time we finally did it. I can't wait to see how much farther we can go.
I can pretty much say that July has been a bust. I don't think it's a plateau. I have been making bad choices on the weekend. You reap what you sow. I'm not going to say it hasn't been fun though.
Since summer is here, there's an abundance of snow cones and ice cream along with fireworks and other bad bad, but so good things, lol. We've been hanging out with family and friends and I have been having a lot of fun. I just need to realize that fun doesn't always include lots of treats. Maybe one treat a weekend is enough. One weekend (with Monday being a holiday) I gained 8 lbs! I know exactly what I did wrong. Last weekend, I kept my treats to one per day (Sat. and Sun.) and gained 2 lbs. So, now I know that I can only treat myself to one treat per weekend. That will just have to be enough for now.
I should have reached my Goal by the beginning of July. That didn't happen. I can't waste time beating myself up about it. I've got to move forward. I actually did get down to 202 earlier this month and have working like a dog to get back there and under 200. I'm hoping that it will happen this week. And then if I can maintain on the weekend, I should be making real progress in August! Also, I'm going to have to find a way to refocus!
It's crazy how much attention I'm getting now. I used to get mad because no one noticed, but now it's kind of embarrassing. People sure like to talk about weight and the body, especially when it's not theirs. They always want to know what 'the secret' is and are disappointed when it's the sage old advice of eating less and exercising.
I actually feel completely different now. Nothing in my closet fits. I have no boobs! I don't feel like people are staring when I eat or when I try on clothes. The fact that I can find a bra in my size off the rack is nothing short of amazing to me. It's a whole different world knowing that I don't have to tear the clothing rack apart just to find something in my size.
Other things are different as well. My husband is transforming himself too. I feel like we are dating again! We have so much more energy. We can stay out all weekend without feeling like we were hit by a truck. This is the best 10th anniversary present. It's about time we finally did it. I can't wait to see how much farther we can go.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
207 Rant
It's been a while since I posted. I was waiting to be able to have some good news. It's not all bad I guess.
My weight loss is slowing down considerably. But it's fluctuating as well. A couple weeks ago, I got down to 205. I was soooo happy! I had finally passed the 50lb mark, and 199 was looking very close. I wanted to post on that day, but I got busy. It's not that I got too confident. I think in fact I became more strict with myself. For a long time I was only eating about 900-1000 calories per day. I was eating about 100 grams of carbs as well.
First, I tried increasing my caloric intake. However, my carbs increased as well. So, I started doing a modified Atkins diet and started losing again. The problem came in two weekends this month. I wasn't as strict with myself. I expected to gain a couple of pounds like I always do, but last weekend I gained a whopping 4 pounds! I have found that it's so much harder to lose the weight for the second time.
It's sad because all I wanted to do was have fun with my friends. We had a couple over and along with my vegan food, I had a few pieces of banana nut bread. I thought since I had eaten better during the day that I could afford it. The next day, we had Chinese with them and then a snow cone. Now, I don't usually do that. But we were having fun. Everyone was having one. It was a sweltering day, and I really enjoyed that snow cone! But that night we also had fast food. I should have known better.
I feel like I'm never going to be able to let up on dieting for the rest of my life. I already knew that, but I thought an occasional slip up would be OK. I guess not. I guess I'm always going to have to be the odd man out. The one who passes up a slice of cake. Or a snow cone. Or whatever is the treat of the day. Because I can't afford these slip ups. It's hard for me to come to terms with that. My body has changed significantly, but I still can't just relax and enjoy it. It's going to be a constant battle with my body. Even though I'm not super happy about it, I know it's just something I have to do. I have to trade a little fun for my health.
So now, I'm eating between 1,200 and 1,500 calories. I need to keep it at 1,200 though and limit the carbs. I lost a couple pounds this week, but I won't be able to breathe easy till I get past 205. I hate going backwards and staying there for so long! I was so confident that I'd be able to get down to 199 by the end of June, and here we are on the last day of June. Just goes to show you that it's not always as easy as you think.
I gotta stay positive!! I've got to look for ways to work through a plateau. I've incorporated weights and abs on most days of the week along with my workout video. I feel like I'm training for an Olympic marathon, lol.
Measurements: Waist 44", Bust 41.5" (wow!), Thigh 19 1/8", Calf 17", Neck 15", Wrist 7 1/8", Forearm 10 7/8", Upper Arm 13.5", Hips 47
My weight loss is slowing down considerably. But it's fluctuating as well. A couple weeks ago, I got down to 205. I was soooo happy! I had finally passed the 50lb mark, and 199 was looking very close. I wanted to post on that day, but I got busy. It's not that I got too confident. I think in fact I became more strict with myself. For a long time I was only eating about 900-1000 calories per day. I was eating about 100 grams of carbs as well.
First, I tried increasing my caloric intake. However, my carbs increased as well. So, I started doing a modified Atkins diet and started losing again. The problem came in two weekends this month. I wasn't as strict with myself. I expected to gain a couple of pounds like I always do, but last weekend I gained a whopping 4 pounds! I have found that it's so much harder to lose the weight for the second time.
It's sad because all I wanted to do was have fun with my friends. We had a couple over and along with my vegan food, I had a few pieces of banana nut bread. I thought since I had eaten better during the day that I could afford it. The next day, we had Chinese with them and then a snow cone. Now, I don't usually do that. But we were having fun. Everyone was having one. It was a sweltering day, and I really enjoyed that snow cone! But that night we also had fast food. I should have known better.
I feel like I'm never going to be able to let up on dieting for the rest of my life. I already knew that, but I thought an occasional slip up would be OK. I guess not. I guess I'm always going to have to be the odd man out. The one who passes up a slice of cake. Or a snow cone. Or whatever is the treat of the day. Because I can't afford these slip ups. It's hard for me to come to terms with that. My body has changed significantly, but I still can't just relax and enjoy it. It's going to be a constant battle with my body. Even though I'm not super happy about it, I know it's just something I have to do. I have to trade a little fun for my health.
So now, I'm eating between 1,200 and 1,500 calories. I need to keep it at 1,200 though and limit the carbs. I lost a couple pounds this week, but I won't be able to breathe easy till I get past 205. I hate going backwards and staying there for so long! I was so confident that I'd be able to get down to 199 by the end of June, and here we are on the last day of June. Just goes to show you that it's not always as easy as you think.
I gotta stay positive!! I've got to look for ways to work through a plateau. I've incorporated weights and abs on most days of the week along with my workout video. I feel like I'm training for an Olympic marathon, lol.
Measurements: Waist 44", Bust 41.5" (wow!), Thigh 19 1/8", Calf 17", Neck 15", Wrist 7 1/8", Forearm 10 7/8", Upper Arm 13.5", Hips 47
Thursday, June 9, 2011
210.2
I'm starting to feel like a different person. Today I got my hair cut and I almost didn't recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. Finally, my face is beginning to look more defined. When I got home, I snapped a few pics of my new haircut and I compared those pics to those of just a month ago and my face is more defined and my neck tendons are showing. I'm very pleased.
What was strange is that this is the first time I've ever met this hair dresser. She asked how much weight I had lost. When I asked how she knew I had lost weight, she said she could just tell when someone has lost weight. That was eye opening! I've never had someone notice something like that about me after knowing me for only 10 minutes.
I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday which was unrelated to my diabetes. My doctor was praising me for my continued weight loss. It had been a month since I'd seen her last and she said that it looked like I had lost more weight. I confirmed and said that I had lost about another 10 lbs, and she looked at my chart and said it had been 11! :)
It hasn't been easy trying to get over another two weeks of stalled weight loss. But I've had a really good week so far. This just encourages me to stick with it even when it seems like I'm going nowhere or even backward. Last weekend I did so much better and even saw that I had lost a pound on Saturday morning. So, I just really have to be diligent and not let myself slip even though I've made so much progress.
I still almost don't believe it. I'm almost to my Goal weight of 199. It's looming closer and closer, I can feel it.
Waist 44.0", Hips 47", Thigh 20", Bust 44", Upper arm 13.5", Calf 17", Wrist 6.34", Neck 15.25"
What was strange is that this is the first time I've ever met this hair dresser. She asked how much weight I had lost. When I asked how she knew I had lost weight, she said she could just tell when someone has lost weight. That was eye opening! I've never had someone notice something like that about me after knowing me for only 10 minutes.
I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday which was unrelated to my diabetes. My doctor was praising me for my continued weight loss. It had been a month since I'd seen her last and she said that it looked like I had lost more weight. I confirmed and said that I had lost about another 10 lbs, and she looked at my chart and said it had been 11! :)
It hasn't been easy trying to get over another two weeks of stalled weight loss. But I've had a really good week so far. This just encourages me to stick with it even when it seems like I'm going nowhere or even backward. Last weekend I did so much better and even saw that I had lost a pound on Saturday morning. So, I just really have to be diligent and not let myself slip even though I've made so much progress.
I still almost don't believe it. I'm almost to my Goal weight of 199. It's looming closer and closer, I can feel it.
Waist 44.0", Hips 47", Thigh 20", Bust 44", Upper arm 13.5", Calf 17", Wrist 6.34", Neck 15.25"
Thursday, May 26, 2011
214.4 Progress
Well, after my setback, I had some significant progress.
Usually I gain 3 lbs after the weekend. Last weekend, I thought would be a repeat. I didn't do so well as usual, and my parents invited us over for dinner Sat evening. I had a salad and a little bit of their greasy chili. So, I was expecting to gain a little.
However, when I stepped on the scale Monday morning, I had actually lost a pound! I was 216.4! I suspect it has something to do with the fact that we've been pretty broke lately and haven't eaten out much. I've been having to get stuff at the store to eat during the weekend. I think we only ate out breakfast once. So, I was pretty stoked about that! I hope that continues which may mean an even bigger loss of convenience...but I know it's worth it.
One big change I've made is that I'm no longer walking at the college (for now). I needed to increase my physical activity. I started doing a combo of walking at the college and the exercise tape, but the time it was taking was really cutting into my day. So, now I'm just doing a 30 min intense video. I was doing a 45 min. one but Comcast decided to take it off >:o. But the 30 min one seems more intense anyway, and seeing how I'm still losing weight, I'm going to stick with it for a while. It really makes me sweat! I don't have to put up with burning my face every day with sunscreen and don't have to worry about being run over. I still like a good walk, but will probably reserve that for leisure time.
You know it really irks me that no one but my husband has noticed my weight loss. I mean, you would think that someone could tell I've lost 43 lbs. No one has said anything. Maybe it's because when you have to lose 100+, 43 lbs doesn't make much of a dent in appearances. But I mean, I've lost several dress sizes and my clothes are falling off! It's not that I need constant praise or anything, but it would be nice to at least be recognized for all the hard work I'm doing. Thank goodness I have a loving husband who tells me so all the time, but sometimes you just want some women to notice, lol! When I told my Dad how much I lost, he doesn't seem to believe me. I think it's because they don't see me day in and day out and don't notice those subtle changes. There are some disadvantages to people noticing that you've lost weight. Like, women become jealous and people start asking what you've done to lose weight. That's a tricky question because what works for one person will probably not work for another. And I don't think most people could cut out all added sugar and live on a thousand calories a day.
I'm really starting to get the feeling that 199 isn't far off. Before it seemed so far, but now it's within reach. Only 15 lbs to go. There is no reason why I shouldn't reach it. I would love to get there by my birthday, but that's a long shot. Maybe by the end of June. I really want to treat myself for that! :-) Or maybe someone will treat me...hint hint.
ETA: Thighs-20" Last reading was 23" :-)
Usually I gain 3 lbs after the weekend. Last weekend, I thought would be a repeat. I didn't do so well as usual, and my parents invited us over for dinner Sat evening. I had a salad and a little bit of their greasy chili. So, I was expecting to gain a little.
However, when I stepped on the scale Monday morning, I had actually lost a pound! I was 216.4! I suspect it has something to do with the fact that we've been pretty broke lately and haven't eaten out much. I've been having to get stuff at the store to eat during the weekend. I think we only ate out breakfast once. So, I was pretty stoked about that! I hope that continues which may mean an even bigger loss of convenience...but I know it's worth it.
One big change I've made is that I'm no longer walking at the college (for now). I needed to increase my physical activity. I started doing a combo of walking at the college and the exercise tape, but the time it was taking was really cutting into my day. So, now I'm just doing a 30 min intense video. I was doing a 45 min. one but Comcast decided to take it off >:o. But the 30 min one seems more intense anyway, and seeing how I'm still losing weight, I'm going to stick with it for a while. It really makes me sweat! I don't have to put up with burning my face every day with sunscreen and don't have to worry about being run over. I still like a good walk, but will probably reserve that for leisure time.
You know it really irks me that no one but my husband has noticed my weight loss. I mean, you would think that someone could tell I've lost 43 lbs. No one has said anything. Maybe it's because when you have to lose 100+, 43 lbs doesn't make much of a dent in appearances. But I mean, I've lost several dress sizes and my clothes are falling off! It's not that I need constant praise or anything, but it would be nice to at least be recognized for all the hard work I'm doing. Thank goodness I have a loving husband who tells me so all the time, but sometimes you just want some women to notice, lol! When I told my Dad how much I lost, he doesn't seem to believe me. I think it's because they don't see me day in and day out and don't notice those subtle changes. There are some disadvantages to people noticing that you've lost weight. Like, women become jealous and people start asking what you've done to lose weight. That's a tricky question because what works for one person will probably not work for another. And I don't think most people could cut out all added sugar and live on a thousand calories a day.
I'm really starting to get the feeling that 199 isn't far off. Before it seemed so far, but now it's within reach. Only 15 lbs to go. There is no reason why I shouldn't reach it. I would love to get there by my birthday, but that's a long shot. Maybe by the end of June. I really want to treat myself for that! :-) Or maybe someone will treat me...hint hint.
ETA: Thighs-20" Last reading was 23" :-)
Thursday, May 19, 2011
217.4 Setbacks
Well, I've official lost about 40lbs. I'm proud of that. Really proud. But that doesn't mean there haven't been setbacks along the way.
The week of my doctor's appt, I didn't lose any weight. The week after, despite still following my program, I gained 3 lbs. I also had a high calorie meal last Sunday. I really regretted that, especially because I knew that I needed to cut back on the weekends.
I went back up to 223 :/ So, I really took to heart what my doctor told me about upping my physical activity. I did try jogging, but it's really painful for me. So, I decided to do a combination of walking and then a workout video. That has helped me lose 6 lbs this week so far. It's been brutal. I've been sweating more than a hog! Oh, and I also cut my calories back down to between 900 and 1,000. I know that's probably not the most healthy thing, but I feel like I have to in order to keep losing weight.
I also feel that I've just recommitted myself to weight loss. Not that I ever gave up. It's just easy to get in a routine that makes you feel like your going nowhere.
I just hope and pray that this was the last plateau that I have before reaching my goals. I reeeeealy want to get down to 199!
The week of my doctor's appt, I didn't lose any weight. The week after, despite still following my program, I gained 3 lbs. I also had a high calorie meal last Sunday. I really regretted that, especially because I knew that I needed to cut back on the weekends.
I went back up to 223 :/ So, I really took to heart what my doctor told me about upping my physical activity. I did try jogging, but it's really painful for me. So, I decided to do a combination of walking and then a workout video. That has helped me lose 6 lbs this week so far. It's been brutal. I've been sweating more than a hog! Oh, and I also cut my calories back down to between 900 and 1,000. I know that's probably not the most healthy thing, but I feel like I have to in order to keep losing weight.
I also feel that I've just recommitted myself to weight loss. Not that I ever gave up. It's just easy to get in a routine that makes you feel like your going nowhere.
I just hope and pray that this was the last plateau that I have before reaching my goals. I reeeeealy want to get down to 199!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
220 lbs-Mini Goal Reached
Yesterday I had my 3 month checkup with my doctor. It went very well. She was very proud of me for losing so much weight. She asked me what I've been doing. She said my blood sugar numbers were perfect and took some bloodwork. She should be getting back with me soon about that, but it all looks good from here. That gave me a little boost. It was exactly the vision I had in my head of what I wanted my doctor's reaction to be to all my hard work. It's what has kept me motivated for so many months. I wanted to prove to her I could do it.
She encouraged me to step up my workout routine so as not to plateau. I've been worried about that some as well. For the last week I've been walking 2 miles for about 45 min. She suggested that I workout for 30 min but intensify it by jogging for two minutes and walking for one. I haven't quite worked up to that yet. The last time I tried jogging I started getting shin splints. I kind of want to wait till I get down to 200 before I start jogging...unless I start to plateau.
One thing I know for sure is that I'm going to have to walk at a different time because we're having highs in the 90's already. This heat is really torturous. We've been talking about getting treadmill too which looks like a good option for weather extremes.
I've increased my daily calorie limit to 1,200 and that seems to be working well. Weekends still prove to be a harder area for me to control. It seems that I always gain 2-3 lbs by Monday. I just wish so badly that we had more healthy convenience foods. But overall, I'm really proud. I weighed in around 222 the morning of my doctor's appointment, so I just about reached the goal of 220 by my visit. No one is perfect!
She said that because I'm doing so well, I can wait 6 months to see her again. By that time, I don't think she will recognize me =)
Oh, and by the way...that dress I've been trying to fit into for two years...fit! I wore it to a funeral last weekend. I also got me some wedge heels to go with it. Funerals are really sad, but I hate to say that I felt really happy about fitting into that dress!
She encouraged me to step up my workout routine so as not to plateau. I've been worried about that some as well. For the last week I've been walking 2 miles for about 45 min. She suggested that I workout for 30 min but intensify it by jogging for two minutes and walking for one. I haven't quite worked up to that yet. The last time I tried jogging I started getting shin splints. I kind of want to wait till I get down to 200 before I start jogging...unless I start to plateau.
One thing I know for sure is that I'm going to have to walk at a different time because we're having highs in the 90's already. This heat is really torturous. We've been talking about getting treadmill too which looks like a good option for weather extremes.
I've increased my daily calorie limit to 1,200 and that seems to be working well. Weekends still prove to be a harder area for me to control. It seems that I always gain 2-3 lbs by Monday. I just wish so badly that we had more healthy convenience foods. But overall, I'm really proud. I weighed in around 222 the morning of my doctor's appointment, so I just about reached the goal of 220 by my visit. No one is perfect!
She said that because I'm doing so well, I can wait 6 months to see her again. By that time, I don't think she will recognize me =)
Oh, and by the way...that dress I've been trying to fit into for two years...fit! I wore it to a funeral last weekend. I also got me some wedge heels to go with it. Funerals are really sad, but I hate to say that I felt really happy about fitting into that dress!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
227.0 30 lbs lost
Today I reached the 30 lb mark! Very proud of myself.
What's impressive to me is that I've been dealing with a very stressful situation with my family and what would usually send me to a corner bingeing on any and everything has actually made me want to eat less. Maybe it's because I'm aware of the effect this could potentially have on my diet. It's like I'm a whole new person the way I'm dealing with things. Hating someone else doesn't mean I have to hate myself.
I realize that I'm going to have to be much more careful on the weekends. I don't use my food journal on weekends. It seems like I always gain a couple pounds back which I subsequently have to lose the following week. This is slowing down my weight loss. I also realize that this may actually be caused by the fact that I'm not eating very much during the week. So, I either need to eat a little more during the week, or cut back on the weekends. I hate cooking on weekends, so I will probably have to eat a few more calories during the week if I can.
It's officially HOT here in Texas and walking is becoming uncomfortable. I'm probably going to have to find a way to exercise early.
Yesterday I sitting was having a very serious conversation when I looked down and noticed that I had crossed my legs. Like a lady. I don't remember the last time I could do that. I just did it without thought, not realizing I had the ability to do so. I had to bring myself back to the conversation I was having because I had become distracted.
It's the simple things you forget.
Measurements: Upper arm 15in, Thigh (at birthmark) 23in, Waist 47.5, Bra 45in, wrist (below bone) 7.25in, calf 17.25in, Neck 16in.
What's impressive to me is that I've been dealing with a very stressful situation with my family and what would usually send me to a corner bingeing on any and everything has actually made me want to eat less. Maybe it's because I'm aware of the effect this could potentially have on my diet. It's like I'm a whole new person the way I'm dealing with things. Hating someone else doesn't mean I have to hate myself.
I realize that I'm going to have to be much more careful on the weekends. I don't use my food journal on weekends. It seems like I always gain a couple pounds back which I subsequently have to lose the following week. This is slowing down my weight loss. I also realize that this may actually be caused by the fact that I'm not eating very much during the week. So, I either need to eat a little more during the week, or cut back on the weekends. I hate cooking on weekends, so I will probably have to eat a few more calories during the week if I can.
It's officially HOT here in Texas and walking is becoming uncomfortable. I'm probably going to have to find a way to exercise early.
Yesterday I sitting was having a very serious conversation when I looked down and noticed that I had crossed my legs. Like a lady. I don't remember the last time I could do that. I just did it without thought, not realizing I had the ability to do so. I had to bring myself back to the conversation I was having because I had become distracted.
It's the simple things you forget.
Measurements: Upper arm 15in, Thigh (at birthmark) 23in, Waist 47.5, Bra 45in, wrist (below bone) 7.25in, calf 17.25in, Neck 16in.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
229.2 Ultra mini goal reached!
Today I woke up excited to step on the scale. I had a feeling that I had reached my goal since the last two days I've really cut back. Yesterday I was 230.6 and I just wanted to lose that .6 because I'm neurotic and make up rules like if I want to reach 230, it has to say 230.0 or less for it to count.
So anyway, it was 229.2! Goal reached! Technically I have to keep the weight off through Sunday, but the most I've ever gained back temporarily is like 2lbs.
Making these small goals has really helped me. I also make sub-goals along the way. For example, I want to reach 220 by May 7 when I'm supposed to see my doctor. I want to show her that I'm taking my disease seriously. That gives me 23 days to lose 9.2 lbs. So, about a pound for every 2 days. I think that's reasonable. That's about what I'm doing now.
It's strange to me now because I'm seeing parts of my body change. One night I was laying down with my legs bent. I looked down at my thighs and didn't recognize them. They are so much slimmer. I actually see where my thighs taper at the knees. This is a trivial thing for most people. But I haven't seen my knees in many years. My thighs usually look like ham hocks. Also, I think I'm going to need a new bra. Won't go into too much detail here...
Oh, and also I have this dress I've been trying to fit into for soooo long. Well, yesterday it zips up easily. It's still too tight when I sit, so I will probably have to try it on again when I reach my sub goal.
I don't mean for this to sound like bragging. I'm a very humble person. In fact, I can tell you that most of my life is a big FAIL. So I get excited when I actually succeed at something. If I keep this up, I may actually resemble a normal overweight person by my 29th birthday.
In addition to walking, I started having the urge to run. So, this week I've been incorporating small amounts of jogging into my routine. I like it, however I've developed shin splints. I'm not sure if I should be jogging with so much weight. I'm afraid that I might fracture my legs. I think I'm going to have to wait till I get down to 200. I want to keep jogging, but I don't want to do any damage to my body. So, back to speed walking for me.
It's starting to get really hot now, so I might have to start walking at a different time. Most likely it would have to be earlier. I look forward to continue pressing on and seeing changes.
So anyway, it was 229.2! Goal reached! Technically I have to keep the weight off through Sunday, but the most I've ever gained back temporarily is like 2lbs.
Making these small goals has really helped me. I also make sub-goals along the way. For example, I want to reach 220 by May 7 when I'm supposed to see my doctor. I want to show her that I'm taking my disease seriously. That gives me 23 days to lose 9.2 lbs. So, about a pound for every 2 days. I think that's reasonable. That's about what I'm doing now.
It's strange to me now because I'm seeing parts of my body change. One night I was laying down with my legs bent. I looked down at my thighs and didn't recognize them. They are so much slimmer. I actually see where my thighs taper at the knees. This is a trivial thing for most people. But I haven't seen my knees in many years. My thighs usually look like ham hocks. Also, I think I'm going to need a new bra. Won't go into too much detail here...
Oh, and also I have this dress I've been trying to fit into for soooo long. Well, yesterday it zips up easily. It's still too tight when I sit, so I will probably have to try it on again when I reach my sub goal.
I don't mean for this to sound like bragging. I'm a very humble person. In fact, I can tell you that most of my life is a big FAIL. So I get excited when I actually succeed at something. If I keep this up, I may actually resemble a normal overweight person by my 29th birthday.
In addition to walking, I started having the urge to run. So, this week I've been incorporating small amounts of jogging into my routine. I like it, however I've developed shin splints. I'm not sure if I should be jogging with so much weight. I'm afraid that I might fracture my legs. I think I'm going to have to wait till I get down to 200. I want to keep jogging, but I don't want to do any damage to my body. So, back to speed walking for me.
It's starting to get really hot now, so I might have to start walking at a different time. Most likely it would have to be earlier. I look forward to continue pressing on and seeing changes.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
233.8 lbs
I really need to start measuring my arms and upper abdomen because it still seems that my legs are getting thinner and my upper body is not. However, last night I wore a dress that I hadn't worn in a while. I couldn't fill it out anymore! So maybe my upper body or at least breasts are getting smaller. The cardigan I wore really doesn't fit anymore either. Think I'm going to have to stop wearing it and find another or just go without one, which is a huge change of pace for me since I usually always wear it with something with barely-there sleeves.
I'm glad that I'm getting smaller, and have gotten a few new clothes, but I can't afford a whole new wardrobe. I was thinking of asking my mom if she had any dresses I could have since she doesn't wear them anymore.
I have several goals I want to reach. My ultra mini goal is 230. My mini goal is 220. My goal is 199. My ultimate goal is 170. And my 'might not never reach it goal' 130. I really only care about getting to my ultimate goal, because I don't know if I've been 130 since grade school.
So, I've almost met my ultra mini goal. I decided that if I reach 230 by April 17 that I would buy myself some platform heels, but I don't know if my feet can handle that, lol. Also I doubt it because I tried some cheap ones on the other day and I'm pretty sure I felt the heel break. Oops!
Anyway, getting to 233 has really motivated me. Just when I feel like I can't make another lap down the track, I lose more weight and get really motivated. Yesterday I was walking tall at the track. It felt good. I felt good. It's not that I don't like it, it just gets boring at times. Sometimes it makes me feel really lonely. But I do like being alone with my thoughts and feeling the fresh air and sun.
I possibly feel some changes around the corner in our life. Like, big changes. I'm just apprehensive about how this is going to affect my weight loss. I don't deal with stress well. My whole life I've dealt with every good/bad/and other thing in my life by eating. Bingeing took away the pain and celebrated the happiness. It numbed me out when I needed it the most. But that's not how I can deal with life anymore. I can't fall back on old habits just because I'm busy. I guess I don't trust myself. Why should I? I've never been successful with weight loss until now, and I'm walking on eggshells. I'm literally afraid of food. I have dreams where I've eaten a whole pie or something and totally blew my diet. I don't know how to learn to trust myself. I don't think it's been enough time yet. I can't mindlessly eat healthy, yet. It's a constant battle. Not so much with willpower, but with remembering that something is too high carb or high calorie. It's a learning process that I haven't mastered yet and until then, I have to really watch myself. So, hopefully if we do decide to go down this path, I can keep everything under control.
I only have a little over a month till I go back to the doctor. I really hope that my A1C test comes out good. Weight loss itself is not enough. I've got to get my sugar under control. It's not where I want it to be, but it's not way out of control. At least I don't think so. I will just have to find out at the doctor I guess.
I'm glad that I'm getting smaller, and have gotten a few new clothes, but I can't afford a whole new wardrobe. I was thinking of asking my mom if she had any dresses I could have since she doesn't wear them anymore.
I have several goals I want to reach. My ultra mini goal is 230. My mini goal is 220. My goal is 199. My ultimate goal is 170. And my 'might not never reach it goal' 130. I really only care about getting to my ultimate goal, because I don't know if I've been 130 since grade school.
So, I've almost met my ultra mini goal. I decided that if I reach 230 by April 17 that I would buy myself some platform heels, but I don't know if my feet can handle that, lol. Also I doubt it because I tried some cheap ones on the other day and I'm pretty sure I felt the heel break. Oops!
Anyway, getting to 233 has really motivated me. Just when I feel like I can't make another lap down the track, I lose more weight and get really motivated. Yesterday I was walking tall at the track. It felt good. I felt good. It's not that I don't like it, it just gets boring at times. Sometimes it makes me feel really lonely. But I do like being alone with my thoughts and feeling the fresh air and sun.
I possibly feel some changes around the corner in our life. Like, big changes. I'm just apprehensive about how this is going to affect my weight loss. I don't deal with stress well. My whole life I've dealt with every good/bad/and other thing in my life by eating. Bingeing took away the pain and celebrated the happiness. It numbed me out when I needed it the most. But that's not how I can deal with life anymore. I can't fall back on old habits just because I'm busy. I guess I don't trust myself. Why should I? I've never been successful with weight loss until now, and I'm walking on eggshells. I'm literally afraid of food. I have dreams where I've eaten a whole pie or something and totally blew my diet. I don't know how to learn to trust myself. I don't think it's been enough time yet. I can't mindlessly eat healthy, yet. It's a constant battle. Not so much with willpower, but with remembering that something is too high carb or high calorie. It's a learning process that I haven't mastered yet and until then, I have to really watch myself. So, hopefully if we do decide to go down this path, I can keep everything under control.
I only have a little over a month till I go back to the doctor. I really hope that my A1C test comes out good. Weight loss itself is not enough. I've got to get my sugar under control. It's not where I want it to be, but it's not way out of control. At least I don't think so. I will just have to find out at the doctor I guess.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
235 lbs- Changes, Changes
Today I weighed in at 235.0. I've lost 22 lbs and 4 inches in the waist (now 46 in) since January. However, this didn't come without a life changing event.
On February 7, I got a huge wake up call. Last time I blogged, I had a feeling about diabetes. It was just something I couldn't shake. I had already started working out and dieting, but I was worried about my health so I made a doctor's appointment. I mentioned to my doctor that I was having frequent yeast infections and the gynecologist I had just seen the day before suggested that I be screened for diabetes. She thought it reasonable for me to be tested. She said that they would do an A1C test that would show my average blood glucose level over the last three months.
I really, truly, honestly didn't think I had diabetes. Especially since I had low blood sugar symptoms a lot. I really didn't understand blood sugar at all. It was just something I needed to cross of my list of things that I didn't have so that I could stop worrying about it.
So, fast forward a few days to February 7th. I got a call from my doctor's nurse. She coldly informed me that I had diabetes and that I needed to start taking Metformin twice a day immediately. Talk about a slap in the face! My mind was in a fog. DIABETES?!? Not me. My worst fear about my health came true and I only had myself to blame. I didn't cry. I didn't freak out (at least on the outside). I was in shock and disbelief.
Of course, I had many questions. For one, I couldn't understand how my blood sugar was low when they tested me (as the nurse told me) but I had diabetes. I had to wait for my doctor to call me later on that night because the nurse couldn't answer any of my questions. She explained it all to me. I had an A1C of 6.1. It's not severe. It's actually more in the level of pre-diabetes. However, as all diabetics will tell you...you either have it or not. There is no such thing as a 'little cancer'. So, there is no such thing as a little diabetes. If I don't want it to develop into full blown diabetes where I have to take insulin, I have to live like a diabetic.
The next few days my life pretty much came to a stand still. I had to learn everything I could about my disease. I had to purchase a blood glucose meter and strips and learn how to use it. That first week, I didn't change my diet at all. I was in denial and resentful that my entire diet and life was going to have to change. The more I read, the more confused I got. The internet abounds with conflicting or downright mis-information. But one thing that most people can agree on is that a diabetic has to follow a strict diet and must exercise!
The second week, it just clicked with me. I was going to have to change or it meant my very life. If there was ever a time to do it, it was now. I started walking every day at the college for 30 minutes and haven't looked back. I actually enjoy it now =) Although the diet is a struggle every day, it's getting easier and easier.
One thing I had to learn was all about CARBS. That evil word! Most people think that sugar is the enemy, but carbs are just as bad because they turn into glucose (sugar). And they are everywhere!
It's been a real challenge to be able to find what I can and can't eat. When I was first diagnosed, I thought it was going to be fairly easy. I though, OK I will just get some books and do a little Googling and print out a diabetic food plan and follow it exactly. Oh how naive I was! There is no 'diabetic' diet. Foods affect every diabetic differently. Some foods that might cause my blood sugar to spike may be perfectly fine for another diabetic and vice versa. I had to learn to rely on my meter to tell me how my body was affected by a certain food. A food diary has been essential for me. I can note what causes spikes and what is OK for me. High carbs are definitely my enemy. I have to be careful with fruit as well. Finding a palatable sugar substitute was challenging as well. I finally found xylitol which is great. It has no aftertaste to me like Splenda or other sugar substitutes do.
I still have SO much to learn. But I'm happy that I'm seeing some progress with my weight. In about another month I will go back to the doctor to see if my A1C has improved. I really hope it has.
The hubby and I went to Goodwill last weekend because I needed some workout clothes. I noticed that many of my 22/24 jeans were falling off, so I tried on a few there. I almost fainted when I fit into an 18! Many of the ones I tried and fit into were 18. I was so proud that I was finally going somewhere. My arms and the upper part of my belly is still huge though, so my tops are still the same size. But for now I don't mind because any drop in weight will only help my blood sugar.
It's strange for me because my lower body looks different. I can feel muscles I haven't felt in a long time. Along with a physical change, I'm feeling a mental one as well. I don't have the uncontrollable cravings I once did. I feel like my health is finally a priority for me. And I am listening to what my body is telling me.
Another great benefit of this focus on health is that my husband has also lost weight. He's lost about 40-50 lbs now. He's finally in the 200's. 293, but that's still better that 350 which was about where he was. Like me, his weight loss has been mainly in his lower body. But that's OK, as long as he's healthier.
Getting diagnosed with diabetes may just have been the worst and best thing to ever happen to my health.
On February 7, I got a huge wake up call. Last time I blogged, I had a feeling about diabetes. It was just something I couldn't shake. I had already started working out and dieting, but I was worried about my health so I made a doctor's appointment. I mentioned to my doctor that I was having frequent yeast infections and the gynecologist I had just seen the day before suggested that I be screened for diabetes. She thought it reasonable for me to be tested. She said that they would do an A1C test that would show my average blood glucose level over the last three months.
I really, truly, honestly didn't think I had diabetes. Especially since I had low blood sugar symptoms a lot. I really didn't understand blood sugar at all. It was just something I needed to cross of my list of things that I didn't have so that I could stop worrying about it.
So, fast forward a few days to February 7th. I got a call from my doctor's nurse. She coldly informed me that I had diabetes and that I needed to start taking Metformin twice a day immediately. Talk about a slap in the face! My mind was in a fog. DIABETES?!? Not me. My worst fear about my health came true and I only had myself to blame. I didn't cry. I didn't freak out (at least on the outside). I was in shock and disbelief.
Of course, I had many questions. For one, I couldn't understand how my blood sugar was low when they tested me (as the nurse told me) but I had diabetes. I had to wait for my doctor to call me later on that night because the nurse couldn't answer any of my questions. She explained it all to me. I had an A1C of 6.1. It's not severe. It's actually more in the level of pre-diabetes. However, as all diabetics will tell you...you either have it or not. There is no such thing as a 'little cancer'. So, there is no such thing as a little diabetes. If I don't want it to develop into full blown diabetes where I have to take insulin, I have to live like a diabetic.
The next few days my life pretty much came to a stand still. I had to learn everything I could about my disease. I had to purchase a blood glucose meter and strips and learn how to use it. That first week, I didn't change my diet at all. I was in denial and resentful that my entire diet and life was going to have to change. The more I read, the more confused I got. The internet abounds with conflicting or downright mis-information. But one thing that most people can agree on is that a diabetic has to follow a strict diet and must exercise!
The second week, it just clicked with me. I was going to have to change or it meant my very life. If there was ever a time to do it, it was now. I started walking every day at the college for 30 minutes and haven't looked back. I actually enjoy it now =) Although the diet is a struggle every day, it's getting easier and easier.
One thing I had to learn was all about CARBS. That evil word! Most people think that sugar is the enemy, but carbs are just as bad because they turn into glucose (sugar). And they are everywhere!
It's been a real challenge to be able to find what I can and can't eat. When I was first diagnosed, I thought it was going to be fairly easy. I though, OK I will just get some books and do a little Googling and print out a diabetic food plan and follow it exactly. Oh how naive I was! There is no 'diabetic' diet. Foods affect every diabetic differently. Some foods that might cause my blood sugar to spike may be perfectly fine for another diabetic and vice versa. I had to learn to rely on my meter to tell me how my body was affected by a certain food. A food diary has been essential for me. I can note what causes spikes and what is OK for me. High carbs are definitely my enemy. I have to be careful with fruit as well. Finding a palatable sugar substitute was challenging as well. I finally found xylitol which is great. It has no aftertaste to me like Splenda or other sugar substitutes do.
I still have SO much to learn. But I'm happy that I'm seeing some progress with my weight. In about another month I will go back to the doctor to see if my A1C has improved. I really hope it has.
The hubby and I went to Goodwill last weekend because I needed some workout clothes. I noticed that many of my 22/24 jeans were falling off, so I tried on a few there. I almost fainted when I fit into an 18! Many of the ones I tried and fit into were 18. I was so proud that I was finally going somewhere. My arms and the upper part of my belly is still huge though, so my tops are still the same size. But for now I don't mind because any drop in weight will only help my blood sugar.
It's strange for me because my lower body looks different. I can feel muscles I haven't felt in a long time. Along with a physical change, I'm feeling a mental one as well. I don't have the uncontrollable cravings I once did. I feel like my health is finally a priority for me. And I am listening to what my body is telling me.
Another great benefit of this focus on health is that my husband has also lost weight. He's lost about 40-50 lbs now. He's finally in the 200's. 293, but that's still better that 350 which was about where he was. Like me, his weight loss has been mainly in his lower body. But that's OK, as long as he's healthier.
Getting diagnosed with diabetes may just have been the worst and best thing to ever happen to my health.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Starting Over-Day 4 252 lbs
It's bittersweet for me to be here. I haven't posted in 6 months. A couple weeks ago I decided to start back up again. I forgot about my blog. I only did about a week before giving up :(
So, today I finally logged back in to see what my weight was. When I started my diet again 2 weeks ago, I weighed 257lbs. So, image my shock when I log in today and saw that 6 months ago my starting weight was 257lbs. It was exactly the same! I haven't lost a thing!
I think I know why. I have this benchmark in my head that I won't go over 250lbs. So, 257 is my danger point. I know I have to reel myself back in. But I don't want to stop at 250!
This really concerns me. Letting my body be in such an unhealthy state for so long is really bad! This needs to stop.
One thing I started noticing is darkening of the skin on my neck. I looked up what that might be, and all this information about diabetes came up. That really scared me, and made me realize that I needed a change. I always knew sugar probably didn't affect me well. I've never been diagnosed with diabetes, but I feel like I'm headed in that direction. I'm pretty sure I'm already insulin resistant.
So, I decided to just cut out extra sugar. And guess what? I started feeling better. Then I started looking up information about diabetic and low carb diets, since carbs turn into sugar. Well, there is so much information on the internet, most of which contradicts other things. It's all so confusing! I finally settled on trying to find a balance between low calorie, low carbs, and ABSOLUTELY NO added sugar other than what naturally occurs in fruit. If I have to get my calories in, I will choose fat over sugar because the sugar affects me worse.
The cons of a diet like this is low energy. So, I need to find a way to add more protein. Also, the first couple of days, I only ate 1,000 calories. Then I found out that if you eat less than 1,200 calories, your body goes into starvation mode and you can't lose weight. This is hard for me because I don't naturally eat this much and at these times of day. So, by the third day I was up to 1,500 calories and today I'm aiming for about the same thing.
What's also difficult is all the thinking about food I have to do! When I'm not on a diet, I don't think about food. I just eat when I'm hungry, which means that I might go all day without eating and then eat a huge meal, and lay on the couch comatose. Now, I have to plan and count and measure. It's all so much, but I know that the benefits outweigh the inconvenience.
What's worse this week is that I'm PMS-ing. I just want to sleep. But I have managed to walk every day. Donald has been walking with me every other day. He's on my dinner diet too, but he needs to eat more during the day so that he doesn't go into starvation mode. I've gotta get him some meals to bring to work.
I used to think that my emotions didn't affect my eating habits. I used to think that I only ate when I was hungry and that I just naturally had a big appetite. Well, I got tested earlier this week. I found out something that made me very anxious. And all of a sudden, all I wanted to do was eat. I wasn't even really hungry. I just wanted a DISTRACTION from what I was feeling. I guess that's what people mean about stuffing their feelings. I haven't ever been aware of doing this until now. It was scary really. I could have consumed a thousand calories in a sitting if I didn't show any self control. I'm going to have to address this soon and discover other ways of dealing with stress. Something that distracts me from the distraction, lol.
I'm not going to update daily. Too much stress for me. Day 1 was January 3 257lbs. I might lose track of the days, and then I might not. But I will try to update on a regular basis. That might mean every day sometimes, and once a month other times. I will do my best.
So, today I finally logged back in to see what my weight was. When I started my diet again 2 weeks ago, I weighed 257lbs. So, image my shock when I log in today and saw that 6 months ago my starting weight was 257lbs. It was exactly the same! I haven't lost a thing!
I think I know why. I have this benchmark in my head that I won't go over 250lbs. So, 257 is my danger point. I know I have to reel myself back in. But I don't want to stop at 250!
This really concerns me. Letting my body be in such an unhealthy state for so long is really bad! This needs to stop.
One thing I started noticing is darkening of the skin on my neck. I looked up what that might be, and all this information about diabetes came up. That really scared me, and made me realize that I needed a change. I always knew sugar probably didn't affect me well. I've never been diagnosed with diabetes, but I feel like I'm headed in that direction. I'm pretty sure I'm already insulin resistant.
So, I decided to just cut out extra sugar. And guess what? I started feeling better. Then I started looking up information about diabetic and low carb diets, since carbs turn into sugar. Well, there is so much information on the internet, most of which contradicts other things. It's all so confusing! I finally settled on trying to find a balance between low calorie, low carbs, and ABSOLUTELY NO added sugar other than what naturally occurs in fruit. If I have to get my calories in, I will choose fat over sugar because the sugar affects me worse.
The cons of a diet like this is low energy. So, I need to find a way to add more protein. Also, the first couple of days, I only ate 1,000 calories. Then I found out that if you eat less than 1,200 calories, your body goes into starvation mode and you can't lose weight. This is hard for me because I don't naturally eat this much and at these times of day. So, by the third day I was up to 1,500 calories and today I'm aiming for about the same thing.
What's also difficult is all the thinking about food I have to do! When I'm not on a diet, I don't think about food. I just eat when I'm hungry, which means that I might go all day without eating and then eat a huge meal, and lay on the couch comatose. Now, I have to plan and count and measure. It's all so much, but I know that the benefits outweigh the inconvenience.
What's worse this week is that I'm PMS-ing. I just want to sleep. But I have managed to walk every day. Donald has been walking with me every other day. He's on my dinner diet too, but he needs to eat more during the day so that he doesn't go into starvation mode. I've gotta get him some meals to bring to work.
I used to think that my emotions didn't affect my eating habits. I used to think that I only ate when I was hungry and that I just naturally had a big appetite. Well, I got tested earlier this week. I found out something that made me very anxious. And all of a sudden, all I wanted to do was eat. I wasn't even really hungry. I just wanted a DISTRACTION from what I was feeling. I guess that's what people mean about stuffing their feelings. I haven't ever been aware of doing this until now. It was scary really. I could have consumed a thousand calories in a sitting if I didn't show any self control. I'm going to have to address this soon and discover other ways of dealing with stress. Something that distracts me from the distraction, lol.
I'm not going to update daily. Too much stress for me. Day 1 was January 3 257lbs. I might lose track of the days, and then I might not. But I will try to update on a regular basis. That might mean every day sometimes, and once a month other times. I will do my best.
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