I finally made it to the 240's! Feels good. I have seen some improvement in my belly area. It's a little flatter than last week. Not as much change in the other areas though.
Physically I feel better. Less body aches and back aches. I'm still tired a lot at times. But at least I'm not in pain.
This week, I cut out most fruit. I limited my calories to 1,200 and I included exercise every day. That was a lot of changes. I was hungry at times. But not so hungry that I was kept up at night which was the big issue with cutting calories.
I'm not going to lie. At times it has been a struggle. I have to make myself cook in the mornings when I'm tired. It just takes me a while to get going.
I think I'm for sure going to keep up the exercise. I might incorporate a little more fruit as long as I can stay within my calorie range. That seems to have been the big difference this week. I realize that while I was eating healthy, I was definitely going over 1,200 calories.
I feel like my measurements should have been better. My upper body is not seeing much improvement at all, and I did a lot of arm work this week. It seems like the skin is looser so at least something is happening. Might have to try weights again. Mine were stolen, so I will need to buy some.
Overall, I'm proud of myself for getting to the 240's. I worked hard for it this week. I just need to keep motivated and keep up this momentum.
I'm 14 lbs away from my Personal Goal!
Measurements: Waist 48.5", Thigh 21.5", Calf 17.5", Wrist 7 1/4", Hips 52", Upper belly 50", Neck 16", Upper arm 16", Forearm 11 7/8", Bust 46.5"
Friday, March 8, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Week 23 250.8
I really wish that I could have updated my blog yesterday. I had finally gotten down to 249! My goal for this week was to make it to the 240's. I don't know why my weight has been fluctuating by as much as 2 lbs every day. I thought that exercising was causing me to gain, so I didn't exercise Tues-Thurs. But it doesn't look like that's what's causing the fluctuation. So, I may need to start again. Also, I finally got my period, so maybe I'm having bloating or water weight issues.
This week I've hardly had any fruit. I guess that's not making me gain or lose, so I might be able to add some back. It's kind of hard to try to figure out what works and what doesn't, but I know I need to focus on the big picture.
For example, I'm losing inches! Almost all of my measurements were down this week! My huge upper belly area that I had is almost gone! I feel very relieved about that. It was causing so many problems. I do need to work on using weights for my upper body because my upper arms are not going down at all.
I'm trying to not get discouraged that changes are not happening faster. The number on the scale really disappointed me. Only 0.4 lb difference from last week. However, I'm learning new habits, gaining a new life. There are so many benefits that have nothing to do with the scale that I can put things into perspective. It's not always easy to do that, I have low moments, but I'm trying to look at the positive side of things. There will be good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. The important thing is that I don't give up.
I finally got my Wheat Belly book and Wheat Belly Cookbook in, so I'm excited to learn new recipes. This week I learned how to make a flaxseed wrap and it's good! Also, a lot of other people I know are doing different diets, so maybe people we know will be more accommodating to our diets.
Measurements: Waist 49", Thigh 21.5", Calf 17.5", Wrist 7", Hips 52", Upper Belly 50", Neck 16", Upper Arm 15.5", Forearm 11.5", Bust 47"
This week I've hardly had any fruit. I guess that's not making me gain or lose, so I might be able to add some back. It's kind of hard to try to figure out what works and what doesn't, but I know I need to focus on the big picture.
For example, I'm losing inches! Almost all of my measurements were down this week! My huge upper belly area that I had is almost gone! I feel very relieved about that. It was causing so many problems. I do need to work on using weights for my upper body because my upper arms are not going down at all.
I'm trying to not get discouraged that changes are not happening faster. The number on the scale really disappointed me. Only 0.4 lb difference from last week. However, I'm learning new habits, gaining a new life. There are so many benefits that have nothing to do with the scale that I can put things into perspective. It's not always easy to do that, I have low moments, but I'm trying to look at the positive side of things. There will be good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. The important thing is that I don't give up.
I finally got my Wheat Belly book and Wheat Belly Cookbook in, so I'm excited to learn new recipes. This week I learned how to make a flaxseed wrap and it's good! Also, a lot of other people I know are doing different diets, so maybe people we know will be more accommodating to our diets.
Measurements: Waist 49", Thigh 21.5", Calf 17.5", Wrist 7", Hips 52", Upper Belly 50", Neck 16", Upper Arm 15.5", Forearm 11.5", Bust 47"
Friday, February 22, 2013
Week 24 251.2
This week has been very easy. I've been learning lots of new recipes and my husband loves them! I do too :) I really wish I would have lost more weight. I've been basically the same weight all week. However, overall since I've started, I've lost 8 lbs so that's good for the end of week 2. Also, I've lost some inches!
I've actually gained in some places but I think I know why. My body already looks different. For example, my upper belly fat has shifted down lower which means it's shrinking. Because of that, the fat that was above my waist has moved lower to my waist region. That means that my waist has gained an inch, but my upper belly has lost half and inch! So, I'm not letting these things get me down because I know that my body is just changing. My husband even noticed!
Also, my clothes are fitting better. One shirt that was tight on me is now a little loose. It's amazing. I didn't think I'd see these results so soon.
Physically, I've been really tired and felt sick a couple of days. But I think it may be hormones due to my period being late (no it's not that!).
I'm learning more and more about what does and doesn't work. Although I haven't been hungry I think it's because I'm eating a little too much and too many carbs in the form of fruit and veggies. So, I need to cut back on those things and see if the weight loss speeds up. I'm also going to start walking again for 20 min on the treadmill like I did today and see if that helps. I'm kind of scared it will increase my appetite, but we will just have to see. I enjoy the physical benefits exercise gives me, so I think I need it anyway.
Lately, I've been kind of panicking thinking of what I'm going to do in social situations. How can I avoid wheat at all costs? I'm afraid that any bit of wheat will lead to a big increased appetite or affect me badly somehow. But I guess I will just have to deal with it one situation at at time. I hate how people think you're weird if you choose to abstain from a food group. It's really none of their business.
I cannot wait to get out of the 250's and into the 240's. I wish it would have happened this week, but I'm so close. I'm rooting for sometime next week.
I feel like a change has happened in me. This is the first time I've felt that 'healthy high' since I lost that 60lbs. I've been searching for it ever since early 2012. It's taken me a year to find it again. Hopefully, I can keep on track, no I WILL keep on track and just see what works and what doesn't and go from there.
Measurements: Waist 50", Thigh 21 7/8", Calf 17 7/8", Wrist 7 1/8", Hips 52", Upper Belly 51", Neck 15 15/16", Upper arm 16 7/8", Forearm 11 7/8", Bust 48"
I've actually gained in some places but I think I know why. My body already looks different. For example, my upper belly fat has shifted down lower which means it's shrinking. Because of that, the fat that was above my waist has moved lower to my waist region. That means that my waist has gained an inch, but my upper belly has lost half and inch! So, I'm not letting these things get me down because I know that my body is just changing. My husband even noticed!
Also, my clothes are fitting better. One shirt that was tight on me is now a little loose. It's amazing. I didn't think I'd see these results so soon.
Physically, I've been really tired and felt sick a couple of days. But I think it may be hormones due to my period being late (no it's not that!).
I'm learning more and more about what does and doesn't work. Although I haven't been hungry I think it's because I'm eating a little too much and too many carbs in the form of fruit and veggies. So, I need to cut back on those things and see if the weight loss speeds up. I'm also going to start walking again for 20 min on the treadmill like I did today and see if that helps. I'm kind of scared it will increase my appetite, but we will just have to see. I enjoy the physical benefits exercise gives me, so I think I need it anyway.
Lately, I've been kind of panicking thinking of what I'm going to do in social situations. How can I avoid wheat at all costs? I'm afraid that any bit of wheat will lead to a big increased appetite or affect me badly somehow. But I guess I will just have to deal with it one situation at at time. I hate how people think you're weird if you choose to abstain from a food group. It's really none of their business.
I cannot wait to get out of the 250's and into the 240's. I wish it would have happened this week, but I'm so close. I'm rooting for sometime next week.
I feel like a change has happened in me. This is the first time I've felt that 'healthy high' since I lost that 60lbs. I've been searching for it ever since early 2012. It's taken me a year to find it again. Hopefully, I can keep on track, no I WILL keep on track and just see what works and what doesn't and go from there.
Measurements: Waist 50", Thigh 21 7/8", Calf 17 7/8", Wrist 7 1/8", Hips 52", Upper Belly 51", Neck 15 15/16", Upper arm 16 7/8", Forearm 11 7/8", Bust 48"
Thursday, February 14, 2013
255 New weight challenge
Well, tomorrow would have been week 13 on my 25 week challenge. I should be at 234 lbs if I had kept at it, one lb shy of reaching my private goal. As you can see, that didn't quite work out.
But one of the "Things I need to work on" goals was that I don't give up when things go wrong. And wrong did they go!
I had a traumatic death in my family, sickness and a whole bunch of stress on top of that. Everything that could go wrong did. But I'm realizing that eating badly is making any bad situations that come up worse. Eating bad is not a stress relief anymore. It's causing so much stress for me because I feel bad all the time. Weight has either increased or redistributed in odd places that is making it hard for me to move and even breathe.
I've been doing a lot of research and discovered a book called Wheat Belly. I've heard about this from friends in passing before but blew it off. I mistakenly believed that as long as you keep carbs under a certain amount everyday that it doesn't matter where those carbs come from. Boy was I wrong! Wheat is bad for you!! I won't go into detail, but I mentioned it because I'm cutting out wheat and gluten from my diet. I've been on it for four days now and I have lost 5 lbs!
What's amazing is that I'm not dreaming about food, I'm not obsessively counting calories, and I don't have those terrible hunger pains! Of course, I don't know what the future will bring with this new way of eating, but I have to say I'm excited. Also, I will probably need to start exercising and eventually counting calories/carbs to keep losing if I reach a plateau, but I just feel in my heart that what the book is talking about makes perfect sense!
SO, I'm restarting my 25 week challenge starting with tomorrow ending in week 25. I'm not going to blog tomorrow, so consider this my one-day-early blog for that week. This brings my 60lb weight loss goal date to August 9th. I should reach my private goal by May 17 (hopefully). This time, I'm not going to freak out if I'm slower than my goals. As long as I'm moving forward. But having a goal gives me something to look forward to. It's so easy to lose track of time and what I've really done, or haven't done *sigh*.
I want to make the rest of this year great!
Measurements: (taken on 2/18/13) Waist 49.5", Upper Belly 51.5", Hips 52.5", Bust 49", Neck 16", Upper arm 15.5", Forearm 11 3/4", Wrist 7 3/8", Thigh 22.5", Calf 17.5"
But one of the "Things I need to work on" goals was that I don't give up when things go wrong. And wrong did they go!
I had a traumatic death in my family, sickness and a whole bunch of stress on top of that. Everything that could go wrong did. But I'm realizing that eating badly is making any bad situations that come up worse. Eating bad is not a stress relief anymore. It's causing so much stress for me because I feel bad all the time. Weight has either increased or redistributed in odd places that is making it hard for me to move and even breathe.
I've been doing a lot of research and discovered a book called Wheat Belly. I've heard about this from friends in passing before but blew it off. I mistakenly believed that as long as you keep carbs under a certain amount everyday that it doesn't matter where those carbs come from. Boy was I wrong! Wheat is bad for you!! I won't go into detail, but I mentioned it because I'm cutting out wheat and gluten from my diet. I've been on it for four days now and I have lost 5 lbs!
What's amazing is that I'm not dreaming about food, I'm not obsessively counting calories, and I don't have those terrible hunger pains! Of course, I don't know what the future will bring with this new way of eating, but I have to say I'm excited. Also, I will probably need to start exercising and eventually counting calories/carbs to keep losing if I reach a plateau, but I just feel in my heart that what the book is talking about makes perfect sense!
SO, I'm restarting my 25 week challenge starting with tomorrow ending in week 25. I'm not going to blog tomorrow, so consider this my one-day-early blog for that week. This brings my 60lb weight loss goal date to August 9th. I should reach my private goal by May 17 (hopefully). This time, I'm not going to freak out if I'm slower than my goals. As long as I'm moving forward. But having a goal gives me something to look forward to. It's so easy to lose track of time and what I've really done, or haven't done *sigh*.
I want to make the rest of this year great!
Measurements: (taken on 2/18/13) Waist 49.5", Upper Belly 51.5", Hips 52.5", Bust 49", Neck 16", Upper arm 15.5", Forearm 11 3/4", Wrist 7 3/8", Thigh 22.5", Calf 17.5"
Friday, November 30, 2012
Week 24 255.2
This week hasn't gone very well as far as diet goes. It started off good. Found out that I had to eat a few extra calories at night in order to be able to sleep without having hunger pains keep me up all night :(
Then on Wednesday night, I pretty much blew it. But I still exercised. I have been on a de-cluttering streak. I have been so sick and tired of all the junk I've been hoarding that I just started throwing crap away. It felt really good. So good in fact that I want to do more of it when I have the energy. The exercise has been giving me more energy. Except for today because I didn't sleep all night for some reason.
I think that this diet is too strict for me. When I exercise I get hungry! Which is normal, but not if you are on a 1,200 calorie diet. So, I'm going to tweak it next week. I'm going to eat the same for breakfast and lunch and then at dinner eat a healthy-ish but not necessarily low carb meal. I think this will give me the fuel not to be hungry all night and have energy to exercise like I want to. I can try it and see...
This week I finally feel better! Still have a little cotton feeling in one of my ears and a little cough but nothing like it was.
The last couple of days have been really hard for me. A lot of feelings are coming up. I partly know why, and the other part I don't. I've been going through old journals and putting them all together, I have been battling my weight solidly for 8 years. I've been doing the same things over and over and over. The same failures over and over, save for the time I lost 60 lbs and I don't even know how that really happened anymore. My weight has been pretty much the same for 8 years. It's crazy. And scary. And sad. And I don't want to do it anymore but sometimes I feel like I don't know how to not be fat. It's become so much of who I am while I've been trying to act as though it doesn't exist. As if this is just a passing phase of my life, and not my actual life. That's why I never buy new clothes. Because I feel like this is not really me. Cuz I'm always thinking I'm going to lose weight and the clothes will just be wasted.
I think I need a drink. How many carbs does vodka have?
Waist 50", Bust 49", Hips 53", Thigh 22 1/4"
Then on Wednesday night, I pretty much blew it. But I still exercised. I have been on a de-cluttering streak. I have been so sick and tired of all the junk I've been hoarding that I just started throwing crap away. It felt really good. So good in fact that I want to do more of it when I have the energy. The exercise has been giving me more energy. Except for today because I didn't sleep all night for some reason.
I think that this diet is too strict for me. When I exercise I get hungry! Which is normal, but not if you are on a 1,200 calorie diet. So, I'm going to tweak it next week. I'm going to eat the same for breakfast and lunch and then at dinner eat a healthy-ish but not necessarily low carb meal. I think this will give me the fuel not to be hungry all night and have energy to exercise like I want to. I can try it and see...
This week I finally feel better! Still have a little cotton feeling in one of my ears and a little cough but nothing like it was.
The last couple of days have been really hard for me. A lot of feelings are coming up. I partly know why, and the other part I don't. I've been going through old journals and putting them all together, I have been battling my weight solidly for 8 years. I've been doing the same things over and over and over. The same failures over and over, save for the time I lost 60 lbs and I don't even know how that really happened anymore. My weight has been pretty much the same for 8 years. It's crazy. And scary. And sad. And I don't want to do it anymore but sometimes I feel like I don't know how to not be fat. It's become so much of who I am while I've been trying to act as though it doesn't exist. As if this is just a passing phase of my life, and not my actual life. That's why I never buy new clothes. Because I feel like this is not really me. Cuz I'm always thinking I'm going to lose weight and the clothes will just be wasted.
I think I need a drink. How many carbs does vodka have?
Waist 50", Bust 49", Hips 53", Thigh 22 1/4"
Friday, November 23, 2012
Week 25 252.8
This is my week 25 check in.
This week hasn't been easy for so many reasons. First of all, I'm still sick. The holiday was this week, then there is Black Friday, which starts the day before now, and today we have a wedding to go to. Strange week to start my 25 week challenge off on.
I don't know why I lose so much at first. I don't think this is the way to go. I have been ravenously hungry to the point that it keeps me up at night. But I'm not hungry in my head, I'm hungry in my stomach which is somewhat easier to ignore. But sometimes I think I have hunger psychosis. I start dreaming about food which is just ridiculous! I hate how my body fights against me even though I'm trying to heal it and do something good for it :(
I think I'm going to include a few more carbs in at least dinner. I've been eating just lean meat and veggies for dinner and it feels like my body is lacking something. What I'm saying is that I'm afraid if I eat too strict that I'm going to go crazy and go on a binge. That's what I'm trying to avoid.
What has really been hard this week for me besides food is exercise. I want to exercise so bad! I'm exhausted from being sick, woozy from the meds, and coughing like crazy which gets worse with movement. I did a little exercising this week before things got crazy busy. I just feel so weak. I want to get to feeling better so bad. I can't hear out of one of my ears which makes everything a blur.
Hopefully, in the next week or two my health will improve to the point where I can go a lot harder at exercise. It gives me energy to do other things in my life and I like that feeling. My range of motion improves as well, and my immune system strengthens. So, there are all kinds of benefits I will get if I can just get well enough to do it.
I've had so many challenges this week, but I know every week won't be like this. I think next week will be easier when I have a normal schedule. You can't beat 7lbs in 5 days, but I know that most weeks will just be a few pounds and that's okay with me.
Measurements: Waist 50", Hips 53", Thigh 22"
This week hasn't been easy for so many reasons. First of all, I'm still sick. The holiday was this week, then there is Black Friday, which starts the day before now, and today we have a wedding to go to. Strange week to start my 25 week challenge off on.
I don't know why I lose so much at first. I don't think this is the way to go. I have been ravenously hungry to the point that it keeps me up at night. But I'm not hungry in my head, I'm hungry in my stomach which is somewhat easier to ignore. But sometimes I think I have hunger psychosis. I start dreaming about food which is just ridiculous! I hate how my body fights against me even though I'm trying to heal it and do something good for it :(
I think I'm going to include a few more carbs in at least dinner. I've been eating just lean meat and veggies for dinner and it feels like my body is lacking something. What I'm saying is that I'm afraid if I eat too strict that I'm going to go crazy and go on a binge. That's what I'm trying to avoid.
What has really been hard this week for me besides food is exercise. I want to exercise so bad! I'm exhausted from being sick, woozy from the meds, and coughing like crazy which gets worse with movement. I did a little exercising this week before things got crazy busy. I just feel so weak. I want to get to feeling better so bad. I can't hear out of one of my ears which makes everything a blur.
Hopefully, in the next week or two my health will improve to the point where I can go a lot harder at exercise. It gives me energy to do other things in my life and I like that feeling. My range of motion improves as well, and my immune system strengthens. So, there are all kinds of benefits I will get if I can just get well enough to do it.
I've had so many challenges this week, but I know every week won't be like this. I think next week will be easier when I have a normal schedule. You can't beat 7lbs in 5 days, but I know that most weeks will just be a few pounds and that's okay with me.
Measurements: Waist 50", Hips 53", Thigh 22"
Monday, November 19, 2012
259 That says it all
I'm not going to go on and on lamenting on how I failed again. I'm just going to get back up from my fall and keep going.
I've always had this weight ceiling that I will never go over. My old weight ceiling was 250. When I got somewhere around 245, a yellow light on my brain would go on. 248, and I would start a diet. Well, somehow along the way, my weight ceiling was raised to 260. I don't even realize how that happened. I'm not going to question it, but I'm sure as hell never gonna raise it again. All I know is that some time last week when I was deathly sick, I somehow weighed in twice at 260.8 and I said, hell no, something has to change!
Speaking of being sick, I've been sicker in the last few months than I've been in a really long time. Sometime in August, I got the flu or maybe just a bad cold that lasted a long time. Then, in the beginning of October, I got a stomach virus. And just recently, I have an upper respiratory infection, and maybe even bronchitis. This is ridiculous. When I was losing weight and eating right, I never got sick. All the exercise strengthened my immune system. I never thought I'd say it, but I look forward to exercising. I want my health and strength back! I want to sweat!
Being at the weight I am now, I know that I can't start out exercising at the level I was before. This week is kind of a soft opening for my diet. Plus, I'm still sick, so I've got to take it easy. That's not an excuse. There are other reasons too. Recently, I have tried going back on my 1,200 calorie low carb diet. I start out really strong, and then I start feeling really sick and eventually lose willpower. I think I need to ease into it. I will probably still be eating at most, 1,500 calories, but I got some fruit to eat as well. I feel like maybe I was shocking my system and it was rebelling against me and causing me to fall off the wagon. I need to at least try this.
I have a 25 week goal. I'm going to lose 59 lbs in 25 weeks, ending May 19, 2013. Hopefully more ;-) My ultimate goal is to reach 170 by the end of December 2013. I have a special and private goal to reach 233. If I lose 2 lbs a week like FitDay say I should to reach my May 19 goal, I should reach my 233 goal in 13 weeks which would bring us to February 18, 2013. This is going to take a lot of willpower. A lot of bad things happened to me in early 2011, but I need to be strong and not let those things control my life. I need to turn something bad into something positive. Create new memories. For me, it makes sense that I would post once a week on Fridays to see where I am.
Things I need to work on:
1. Don't get so hung up on what the scale says. Don't give up because of one or a few bad number days.
2. Stop being jealous of the past and the success I used to have. Stop comparing my new self with my old self.
3. Don't turn to food or self hatred when things go wrong (and they will!)
4. Don't freak out if something doesn't work. Use it as a learning lesson, and tweak what you have to to stay on track.
5. Accept what is, move on, and do better.
6. Slow down, weight loss doesn't happen overnight!
Measurements: Wrist 7 3/8", Upper Arm 16", Forearm 11 3/8", Thigh 23 1/8", Calf 18.5", Neck 16.5", Waist 50.5", Hips 54", Bust 46.5"
I've always had this weight ceiling that I will never go over. My old weight ceiling was 250. When I got somewhere around 245, a yellow light on my brain would go on. 248, and I would start a diet. Well, somehow along the way, my weight ceiling was raised to 260. I don't even realize how that happened. I'm not going to question it, but I'm sure as hell never gonna raise it again. All I know is that some time last week when I was deathly sick, I somehow weighed in twice at 260.8 and I said, hell no, something has to change!
Speaking of being sick, I've been sicker in the last few months than I've been in a really long time. Sometime in August, I got the flu or maybe just a bad cold that lasted a long time. Then, in the beginning of October, I got a stomach virus. And just recently, I have an upper respiratory infection, and maybe even bronchitis. This is ridiculous. When I was losing weight and eating right, I never got sick. All the exercise strengthened my immune system. I never thought I'd say it, but I look forward to exercising. I want my health and strength back! I want to sweat!
Being at the weight I am now, I know that I can't start out exercising at the level I was before. This week is kind of a soft opening for my diet. Plus, I'm still sick, so I've got to take it easy. That's not an excuse. There are other reasons too. Recently, I have tried going back on my 1,200 calorie low carb diet. I start out really strong, and then I start feeling really sick and eventually lose willpower. I think I need to ease into it. I will probably still be eating at most, 1,500 calories, but I got some fruit to eat as well. I feel like maybe I was shocking my system and it was rebelling against me and causing me to fall off the wagon. I need to at least try this.
I have a 25 week goal. I'm going to lose 59 lbs in 25 weeks, ending May 19, 2013. Hopefully more ;-) My ultimate goal is to reach 170 by the end of December 2013. I have a special and private goal to reach 233. If I lose 2 lbs a week like FitDay say I should to reach my May 19 goal, I should reach my 233 goal in 13 weeks which would bring us to February 18, 2013. This is going to take a lot of willpower. A lot of bad things happened to me in early 2011, but I need to be strong and not let those things control my life. I need to turn something bad into something positive. Create new memories. For me, it makes sense that I would post once a week on Fridays to see where I am.
Things I need to work on:
1. Don't get so hung up on what the scale says. Don't give up because of one or a few bad number days.
2. Stop being jealous of the past and the success I used to have. Stop comparing my new self with my old self.
3. Don't turn to food or self hatred when things go wrong (and they will!)
4. Don't freak out if something doesn't work. Use it as a learning lesson, and tweak what you have to to stay on track.
5. Accept what is, move on, and do better.
6. Slow down, weight loss doesn't happen overnight!
Measurements: Wrist 7 3/8", Upper Arm 16", Forearm 11 3/8", Thigh 23 1/8", Calf 18.5", Neck 16.5", Waist 50.5", Hips 54", Bust 46.5"
Friday, August 17, 2012
249.6 Disappointed
How many freaking times am I going to post that I'm starting over and way motivated and stuff?!? I hate myself for that. I let myself and this blog down, ugh! So, ya here I am again. I feel like I just slipped up from the last time, but that was a looong slip up. It's now a month later and I'm at it again. Well, not long after I fell off the wagon, I injured myself.
I was bending over a drawer organizing my nail polishes. I had been at it for a while when all of a sudden I felt a hot burning feeling in my lower back and then it was like a lightning bolt struck it. I tried to stand up but couldn't. I could only manage a hunched over position and made it to my office chair. My back was racked with spasms. I could barely walk. I stayed on the couch or in a sitting position for 24 hrs until I finally decided that the severe pain I was in was intolerable. I had to go to the doctor. She diagnosed muscle spasms probably from a pulled muscle and loaded me up with pain medication and muscle relaxers. I was in a haze for about 2 weeks. I had to have help getting up and even taking a bath. Brushing my teeth was excruciating because bending over the sink was almost impossible.
Little by little it got better. My brother who's a massage therapist also massaged my back and it felt better. I'm pretty much completely better now, but it scared the crap out of me. Carrying all this weight is really bad for my muscles, among other things. I just can't live like that in a haze of medication. I need to get the weight off and strengthen my back muscles so that this crap doesn't happen again!
This week, I tried to say on 1,200 calories and under 100 carbs. I also got the 'great' idea to incorporate fruit into my low carb diet. Not sure if that was the greatest thing. I've only lost 5 lbs this week and I feel terrible physically. Eating lots of fat always left me wanting something, but this time I've been having severe stomach growling at night which keeps me up and really bad diarrhea. So, I think I'm going to stop the fruit and eat more fat. I've just got to tweak it along the way, and probably check out my old food journals.
I feel like part of the reason I lost weight the last time was because the Metformin made me lose my appetite, but now my body has adjusted to it. I sure wish I could find something for my appetite. I swing from nauseous to ravenously hungry and it really messes with my moods and energy. I've really had to exercise my willpower today. I just keep thinking of all the pain I was in and how I don't want to go back to that. I'm not going to post my measurements until I feel like I lost some weight.
I was bending over a drawer organizing my nail polishes. I had been at it for a while when all of a sudden I felt a hot burning feeling in my lower back and then it was like a lightning bolt struck it. I tried to stand up but couldn't. I could only manage a hunched over position and made it to my office chair. My back was racked with spasms. I could barely walk. I stayed on the couch or in a sitting position for 24 hrs until I finally decided that the severe pain I was in was intolerable. I had to go to the doctor. She diagnosed muscle spasms probably from a pulled muscle and loaded me up with pain medication and muscle relaxers. I was in a haze for about 2 weeks. I had to have help getting up and even taking a bath. Brushing my teeth was excruciating because bending over the sink was almost impossible.
Little by little it got better. My brother who's a massage therapist also massaged my back and it felt better. I'm pretty much completely better now, but it scared the crap out of me. Carrying all this weight is really bad for my muscles, among other things. I just can't live like that in a haze of medication. I need to get the weight off and strengthen my back muscles so that this crap doesn't happen again!
This week, I tried to say on 1,200 calories and under 100 carbs. I also got the 'great' idea to incorporate fruit into my low carb diet. Not sure if that was the greatest thing. I've only lost 5 lbs this week and I feel terrible physically. Eating lots of fat always left me wanting something, but this time I've been having severe stomach growling at night which keeps me up and really bad diarrhea. So, I think I'm going to stop the fruit and eat more fat. I've just got to tweak it along the way, and probably check out my old food journals.
I feel like part of the reason I lost weight the last time was because the Metformin made me lose my appetite, but now my body has adjusted to it. I sure wish I could find something for my appetite. I swing from nauseous to ravenously hungry and it really messes with my moods and energy. I've really had to exercise my willpower today. I just keep thinking of all the pain I was in and how I don't want to go back to that. I'm not going to post my measurements until I feel like I lost some weight.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
249.2 Starting way over
Well, looking at my last post, it's easy to see that the HCG diet didn't work for me. I lost 12 lbs that week, but I was so weak I could barely walk. I'm glad it works for others, but it's not for me.
Yesterday, I started up my low-carb diet. Sad to say, I have gained all my weight back minus 6 lbs or so. I'm not making excuses, but there is a reason all of this happened. I'm not going to go into detail, but I had two heartbreaking tragedies happen to me this year. Needless to say, I plunged into depression and ate my way through these last few months.
Am I better? No. But I have decided to stop hurting myself. I feel exactly the way I did right before being diagnosed with diabetes. Sluggish, body aches, can't walk up stairs, out of breath all the time, TIRED, etc. I HATE the way I feel now. I feel like I'm dying a slow death physically. The difference in how I feel when I was 198 lbs to 249 is like night and day. I want to lose all this weight and lose even more than before!
It's so hard to accept that I had lost 60lbs and gained it all back in a few months. It made me want to give up. It's like even now, every lb I lose won't be a victory because I will be thinking, "Well, I used to weigh 198, so why celebrate 230?" But I know that I can't think that way anymore because if I do, I will never lose the weight. I'm so afraid that even if I lose it for the second time, I will gain it all back again. I keep going over in my mind what happened, and besides the tragedies, I know why. It's because I was looking at this all as a diet and not a lifestyle change. I kept thinking unconsciously that eventually I would lose the weight and be able to go back to eating like 'normal.' What kept me going sometimes was thinking of all the crap I could eventually eat one I lost it all. I just wanted to eat like a normal person. What I have to accept is that a healthy low-carb diet is what is going to have to be normal for me. I can't go back. If I want to keep it off, it's what I have to do for the rest of my life. Does it suck? Yeah, but I'm sure I will get used to it again. It's not that it's hard to eat this way, it just takes so much time. The calorie counting takes time, and the preparation does too. It's not convenient but it works.
Even though no one has made a peep about my weight gain, I know what they are thinking. The diet doesn't work. But that's not true. I made the choice to stop. It works if you stick with it. I was the one who failed, not my diet.
One good that came out of all this is that my husband has kept off the 100lbs that he lost. I'm so proud of him! No one can recognize him. His clothes are tents on him now, lol! He's my inspiration :)
One thing I've been concerned with is that maybe I lost the weight too quickly the first time. I lost 60lbs in 6 months. Was that too quick? I don't know, but maybe. So instead of 1,200 calories, I'm eating 1,500. I need to do some more research on how many calories I'm supposed to be eating exactly.
I have an old treadmill now, so I'm doing 20 min a day like before and will increase according to my ability just like before. When it gets cooler, maybe I can start walking outside again. That will be more of a challenge now because we don't live near the college anymore, but maybe I can walk around our new apt complex.
One think about the Russian Doll is that you can decrease the size to reveal a smaller figure. But you can also increase the size as well. That happens sometimes. However, you can always decrease again. The choice is yours.
Measurements, Waist 49.5', Bust 46.5', Thigh 22.5', Calf 18.75', Neck 16', Wrist 7.5', Forearm 11.5', Upper Arm 16.5', Hips 53'
Yesterday, I started up my low-carb diet. Sad to say, I have gained all my weight back minus 6 lbs or so. I'm not making excuses, but there is a reason all of this happened. I'm not going to go into detail, but I had two heartbreaking tragedies happen to me this year. Needless to say, I plunged into depression and ate my way through these last few months.
Am I better? No. But I have decided to stop hurting myself. I feel exactly the way I did right before being diagnosed with diabetes. Sluggish, body aches, can't walk up stairs, out of breath all the time, TIRED, etc. I HATE the way I feel now. I feel like I'm dying a slow death physically. The difference in how I feel when I was 198 lbs to 249 is like night and day. I want to lose all this weight and lose even more than before!
It's so hard to accept that I had lost 60lbs and gained it all back in a few months. It made me want to give up. It's like even now, every lb I lose won't be a victory because I will be thinking, "Well, I used to weigh 198, so why celebrate 230?" But I know that I can't think that way anymore because if I do, I will never lose the weight. I'm so afraid that even if I lose it for the second time, I will gain it all back again. I keep going over in my mind what happened, and besides the tragedies, I know why. It's because I was looking at this all as a diet and not a lifestyle change. I kept thinking unconsciously that eventually I would lose the weight and be able to go back to eating like 'normal.' What kept me going sometimes was thinking of all the crap I could eventually eat one I lost it all. I just wanted to eat like a normal person. What I have to accept is that a healthy low-carb diet is what is going to have to be normal for me. I can't go back. If I want to keep it off, it's what I have to do for the rest of my life. Does it suck? Yeah, but I'm sure I will get used to it again. It's not that it's hard to eat this way, it just takes so much time. The calorie counting takes time, and the preparation does too. It's not convenient but it works.
Even though no one has made a peep about my weight gain, I know what they are thinking. The diet doesn't work. But that's not true. I made the choice to stop. It works if you stick with it. I was the one who failed, not my diet.
One good that came out of all this is that my husband has kept off the 100lbs that he lost. I'm so proud of him! No one can recognize him. His clothes are tents on him now, lol! He's my inspiration :)
One thing I've been concerned with is that maybe I lost the weight too quickly the first time. I lost 60lbs in 6 months. Was that too quick? I don't know, but maybe. So instead of 1,200 calories, I'm eating 1,500. I need to do some more research on how many calories I'm supposed to be eating exactly.
I have an old treadmill now, so I'm doing 20 min a day like before and will increase according to my ability just like before. When it gets cooler, maybe I can start walking outside again. That will be more of a challenge now because we don't live near the college anymore, but maybe I can walk around our new apt complex.
One think about the Russian Doll is that you can decrease the size to reveal a smaller figure. But you can also increase the size as well. That happens sometimes. However, you can always decrease again. The choice is yours.
Measurements, Waist 49.5', Bust 46.5', Thigh 22.5', Calf 18.75', Neck 16', Wrist 7.5', Forearm 11.5', Upper Arm 16.5', Hips 53'
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
218.6 Day 4
I was somewhat shocked to wake up to find the scale down by over 6 lbs. However, this frequently happens when I come off of my bad days. Usually I will lose about 4 lbs of mostly water, but this was a little more which I can probably attribute to the HCG and water loss. I'm not going to be overly enthusiatic about this because most likely my weight loss will level off.
I was hungry yesterday and hungry today. Not overly so, but that is to be expected the first two days. Also, yesterday before going to bed I was feeling very tired and had flu like symptoms. The real hunger test will come tomorrow.
I had a horrible night! I couldn't sleep all night. I think I may be sick. I have a very bad sore throat. It hurts to swallow and talk. All night I kept having to swallow back saliva and I was very nauseated. I really don't know if this is all connected to the diet or not. If the diet is causing this and it goes on for very much longer, I think I would have to stop. It's terrible. But hopefully, I'm just sick and it will go away soon. But I would still be irritated that I got sick right when I'm having to start this very strict diet. It really doesn't help my motivation. Grr, oh well.
Here's a couple pictures of my lunch and dinner to give you an idea of what I'm eating.
I was hungry yesterday and hungry today. Not overly so, but that is to be expected the first two days. Also, yesterday before going to bed I was feeling very tired and had flu like symptoms. The real hunger test will come tomorrow.
I had a horrible night! I couldn't sleep all night. I think I may be sick. I have a very bad sore throat. It hurts to swallow and talk. All night I kept having to swallow back saliva and I was very nauseated. I really don't know if this is all connected to the diet or not. If the diet is causing this and it goes on for very much longer, I think I would have to stop. It's terrible. But hopefully, I'm just sick and it will go away soon. But I would still be irritated that I got sick right when I'm having to start this very strict diet. It really doesn't help my motivation. Grr, oh well.
Here's a couple pictures of my lunch and dinner to give you an idea of what I'm eating.
Monday, October 17, 2011
225 Day 3 HCG
Today is Day 3 of my new diet. It's my first day of VLCD-Very Low Calorie Diet. It's so strange because the last two days I had to 'load' up on fat, calories and protein. Yet, I was hardly hungry at all. I had to make myself eat! The sweets were pretty easy to eat, but everything else was hard. I really don't know if the HCG was working yet, or if it was psychological, or if it was removing the taboo of eating to capacity. But I just wasn't that hungry. All I could think of was getting started with the new diet! LOL Who know
the reason, but I'm starting the 500 calorie part of it today.
Sat morning I was 225.6. Amazingly, I actually lost a half a pound after these two days!! Usually if I go off my diet on the weekend, I eat way less than I did on these load days and gain several pounds.
I'm very tired. I don't know if it's because I didn't get enough sleep or what. All I want to do is go back to bed. I know I need to take a walk, but I'm afraid it will make me hungry. I think I will though. The hardest part is just deciding what I'm going to eat, even though it's very little. I just hope I'm doing everything right because I don't want to mess anything up. Oh, and I'm peeing like a racehorse even though I'm not drinking much yet. I need to go make myself a big glass of water and get to sipping.
One thing I noticed is that the last two days I had tons of energy! And I used every ounce of it up. We had a lot to do over the weekend and I was pretty active. Maybe I overdid it and that's why I'm tired. Anyway, I hope the energy comes back. So far so good. Not much hunger. Hope that doesn't change anytime soon.
Sat morning I was 225.6. Amazingly, I actually lost a half a pound after these two days!! Usually if I go off my diet on the weekend, I eat way less than I did on these load days and gain several pounds.
I'm very tired. I don't know if it's because I didn't get enough sleep or what. All I want to do is go back to bed. I know I need to take a walk, but I'm afraid it will make me hungry. I think I will though. The hardest part is just deciding what I'm going to eat, even though it's very little. I just hope I'm doing everything right because I don't want to mess anything up. Oh, and I'm peeing like a racehorse even though I'm not drinking much yet. I need to go make myself a big glass of water and get to sipping.
One thing I noticed is that the last two days I had tons of energy! And I used every ounce of it up. We had a lot to do over the weekend and I was pretty active. Maybe I overdid it and that's why I'm tired. Anyway, I hope the energy comes back. So far so good. Not much hunger. Hope that doesn't change anytime soon.
Friday, October 14, 2011
225 Backsliding and a new diet
Yes, you read that right. I've gained back about half of what I lost. I haven't posted in a while because I was having major problems with gaining and losing. I would backslide on the weekends and then gain anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds. I would diet for most of the week and then start my downward spiral beginning anywhere from Wednesday to Friday.
It all started because, since I lost so much weight, my periods had finally for the first time in my womanhood become normal. So, I figured that it was the best time to begin conceiving.When several months went by without me doing so, I think I lost it. Deep inside. Never would I let myself or anyone else see it. So, I punished my body. I guess unconsciously I figured if my body wasn't going to do what it was supposed to then what was the point of it all? I wanted to lose weight in the first place to restore not just my physical health, buy my reproductive health as well.
That went on for oh like 2-3 months. Finally, my 10th anniversary and a vacation to Destin, FL arrived. Oh how happy that all made me. And you know what anniversary celebrations involve...CAKE! I have finally found out that sweets are my downfall. I really thought it was rice, bread, or pasta. But no, it's CAKE.
So, all these things have been a deadly combination. Although I have had some relief from all the counting of calories and weighing of food, I do not feel well. My joints are achy again and I don't have nearly the energy I used to have. You would think that would be enough motivation, but for some reason I feel like my motivation is gone. If you take away one of the major reasons that you had to lose weight (conception for me), it becomes sort of meaningless. So, I have to keep reminding myself that there are plenty other reasons for doing so. Especially because I'm diabetic and need to keep it under control so I don't die and to keep my doctor happy.
Soooo, all that being said, I have decided to try a new diet. I still believe low carb is the way to go. However, I reached a major plateau that I just could not get out of. So, I started doing some research and watching the Dr. Oz show and have come to the conclusion that I want to try the HCG diet. I am going to be using the homeopathic pellets. I'm not going to go into all the specifics of it now, especially because I still have a lot to learn. But I know the basics and am starting tomorrow hopefully. If not, then on Monday.
This diet is controversial and not for everyone. But I've done enough research that I think this might work for me. And if it doesn't, I will go back to low carbing it. I'm not going to give up! I've actually had to pull out of a pair of my old fat jeans and I was so mad about that! I'm not going there again! I was so happy to get under 200lbs and it makes me mad that I allowed it to happen. But it wouldn't be fair to lie to my blog and make everyone think that I kept the weight off forever. I guess deep down inside I thought I could just lose the weight and then go back to eating what I was eating to maintain it. Guess the only way to maintain it is to stay on the diet. So, it really is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix. It's forever.
So, I'm going to document how it goes on this HCG diet. The good, the bad and whatever else comes along. If for any reason I feel sick or just not right, I will stop and go back to what I was doing. Here goes!
It all started because, since I lost so much weight, my periods had finally for the first time in my womanhood become normal. So, I figured that it was the best time to begin conceiving.When several months went by without me doing so, I think I lost it. Deep inside. Never would I let myself or anyone else see it. So, I punished my body. I guess unconsciously I figured if my body wasn't going to do what it was supposed to then what was the point of it all? I wanted to lose weight in the first place to restore not just my physical health, buy my reproductive health as well.
That went on for oh like 2-3 months. Finally, my 10th anniversary and a vacation to Destin, FL arrived. Oh how happy that all made me. And you know what anniversary celebrations involve...CAKE! I have finally found out that sweets are my downfall. I really thought it was rice, bread, or pasta. But no, it's CAKE.
So, all these things have been a deadly combination. Although I have had some relief from all the counting of calories and weighing of food, I do not feel well. My joints are achy again and I don't have nearly the energy I used to have. You would think that would be enough motivation, but for some reason I feel like my motivation is gone. If you take away one of the major reasons that you had to lose weight (conception for me), it becomes sort of meaningless. So, I have to keep reminding myself that there are plenty other reasons for doing so. Especially because I'm diabetic and need to keep it under control so I don't die and to keep my doctor happy.
Soooo, all that being said, I have decided to try a new diet. I still believe low carb is the way to go. However, I reached a major plateau that I just could not get out of. So, I started doing some research and watching the Dr. Oz show and have come to the conclusion that I want to try the HCG diet. I am going to be using the homeopathic pellets. I'm not going to go into all the specifics of it now, especially because I still have a lot to learn. But I know the basics and am starting tomorrow hopefully. If not, then on Monday.
This diet is controversial and not for everyone. But I've done enough research that I think this might work for me. And if it doesn't, I will go back to low carbing it. I'm not going to give up! I've actually had to pull out of a pair of my old fat jeans and I was so mad about that! I'm not going there again! I was so happy to get under 200lbs and it makes me mad that I allowed it to happen. But it wouldn't be fair to lie to my blog and make everyone think that I kept the weight off forever. I guess deep down inside I thought I could just lose the weight and then go back to eating what I was eating to maintain it. Guess the only way to maintain it is to stay on the diet. So, it really is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix. It's forever.
So, I'm going to document how it goes on this HCG diet. The good, the bad and whatever else comes along. If for any reason I feel sick or just not right, I will stop and go back to what I was doing. Here goes!
Friday, July 22, 2011
199.4 Goal Reached!
I finally reached my goal to be under 200lbs! I've lost 58 lbs. I'm proud of myself. I wanted to reach it before an event I had coming up. I hope this weekend doesn't ruin it. It just seems like lately I go up and down so much. All I can do is keep doing what I've been doing. I wish I had the money to treat myself because that keeps me motivated. Oh well. Today I went to my storage unit and got some clothes I had stored away that I haven't worn since before my first anniversary. Most of it fits or is just a little tight which I was shocked. I really didn't think I would fit into any of it. I officially don't have any pants to wear so its off to the thrift store for me. Losing 30 more lbs to reach my ultimate goal seems so much more doable now. It would be nice to reach it by Nov 1st. However, even losing it by the end of the year would be good. Every pound I lose from here on out is a real victory for me.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
203.6
So, not much has changed since I ranted last. However, I don't want to be that negative because it doesn't help anything.
I can pretty much say that July has been a bust. I don't think it's a plateau. I have been making bad choices on the weekend. You reap what you sow. I'm not going to say it hasn't been fun though.
Since summer is here, there's an abundance of snow cones and ice cream along with fireworks and other bad bad, but so good things, lol. We've been hanging out with family and friends and I have been having a lot of fun. I just need to realize that fun doesn't always include lots of treats. Maybe one treat a weekend is enough. One weekend (with Monday being a holiday) I gained 8 lbs! I know exactly what I did wrong. Last weekend, I kept my treats to one per day (Sat. and Sun.) and gained 2 lbs. So, now I know that I can only treat myself to one treat per weekend. That will just have to be enough for now.
I should have reached my Goal by the beginning of July. That didn't happen. I can't waste time beating myself up about it. I've got to move forward. I actually did get down to 202 earlier this month and have working like a dog to get back there and under 200. I'm hoping that it will happen this week. And then if I can maintain on the weekend, I should be making real progress in August! Also, I'm going to have to find a way to refocus!
It's crazy how much attention I'm getting now. I used to get mad because no one noticed, but now it's kind of embarrassing. People sure like to talk about weight and the body, especially when it's not theirs. They always want to know what 'the secret' is and are disappointed when it's the sage old advice of eating less and exercising.
I actually feel completely different now. Nothing in my closet fits. I have no boobs! I don't feel like people are staring when I eat or when I try on clothes. The fact that I can find a bra in my size off the rack is nothing short of amazing to me. It's a whole different world knowing that I don't have to tear the clothing rack apart just to find something in my size.
Other things are different as well. My husband is transforming himself too. I feel like we are dating again! We have so much more energy. We can stay out all weekend without feeling like we were hit by a truck. This is the best 10th anniversary present. It's about time we finally did it. I can't wait to see how much farther we can go.
I can pretty much say that July has been a bust. I don't think it's a plateau. I have been making bad choices on the weekend. You reap what you sow. I'm not going to say it hasn't been fun though.
Since summer is here, there's an abundance of snow cones and ice cream along with fireworks and other bad bad, but so good things, lol. We've been hanging out with family and friends and I have been having a lot of fun. I just need to realize that fun doesn't always include lots of treats. Maybe one treat a weekend is enough. One weekend (with Monday being a holiday) I gained 8 lbs! I know exactly what I did wrong. Last weekend, I kept my treats to one per day (Sat. and Sun.) and gained 2 lbs. So, now I know that I can only treat myself to one treat per weekend. That will just have to be enough for now.
I should have reached my Goal by the beginning of July. That didn't happen. I can't waste time beating myself up about it. I've got to move forward. I actually did get down to 202 earlier this month and have working like a dog to get back there and under 200. I'm hoping that it will happen this week. And then if I can maintain on the weekend, I should be making real progress in August! Also, I'm going to have to find a way to refocus!
It's crazy how much attention I'm getting now. I used to get mad because no one noticed, but now it's kind of embarrassing. People sure like to talk about weight and the body, especially when it's not theirs. They always want to know what 'the secret' is and are disappointed when it's the sage old advice of eating less and exercising.
I actually feel completely different now. Nothing in my closet fits. I have no boobs! I don't feel like people are staring when I eat or when I try on clothes. The fact that I can find a bra in my size off the rack is nothing short of amazing to me. It's a whole different world knowing that I don't have to tear the clothing rack apart just to find something in my size.
Other things are different as well. My husband is transforming himself too. I feel like we are dating again! We have so much more energy. We can stay out all weekend without feeling like we were hit by a truck. This is the best 10th anniversary present. It's about time we finally did it. I can't wait to see how much farther we can go.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
207 Rant
It's been a while since I posted. I was waiting to be able to have some good news. It's not all bad I guess.
My weight loss is slowing down considerably. But it's fluctuating as well. A couple weeks ago, I got down to 205. I was soooo happy! I had finally passed the 50lb mark, and 199 was looking very close. I wanted to post on that day, but I got busy. It's not that I got too confident. I think in fact I became more strict with myself. For a long time I was only eating about 900-1000 calories per day. I was eating about 100 grams of carbs as well.
First, I tried increasing my caloric intake. However, my carbs increased as well. So, I started doing a modified Atkins diet and started losing again. The problem came in two weekends this month. I wasn't as strict with myself. I expected to gain a couple of pounds like I always do, but last weekend I gained a whopping 4 pounds! I have found that it's so much harder to lose the weight for the second time.
It's sad because all I wanted to do was have fun with my friends. We had a couple over and along with my vegan food, I had a few pieces of banana nut bread. I thought since I had eaten better during the day that I could afford it. The next day, we had Chinese with them and then a snow cone. Now, I don't usually do that. But we were having fun. Everyone was having one. It was a sweltering day, and I really enjoyed that snow cone! But that night we also had fast food. I should have known better.
I feel like I'm never going to be able to let up on dieting for the rest of my life. I already knew that, but I thought an occasional slip up would be OK. I guess not. I guess I'm always going to have to be the odd man out. The one who passes up a slice of cake. Or a snow cone. Or whatever is the treat of the day. Because I can't afford these slip ups. It's hard for me to come to terms with that. My body has changed significantly, but I still can't just relax and enjoy it. It's going to be a constant battle with my body. Even though I'm not super happy about it, I know it's just something I have to do. I have to trade a little fun for my health.
So now, I'm eating between 1,200 and 1,500 calories. I need to keep it at 1,200 though and limit the carbs. I lost a couple pounds this week, but I won't be able to breathe easy till I get past 205. I hate going backwards and staying there for so long! I was so confident that I'd be able to get down to 199 by the end of June, and here we are on the last day of June. Just goes to show you that it's not always as easy as you think.
I gotta stay positive!! I've got to look for ways to work through a plateau. I've incorporated weights and abs on most days of the week along with my workout video. I feel like I'm training for an Olympic marathon, lol.
Measurements: Waist 44", Bust 41.5" (wow!), Thigh 19 1/8", Calf 17", Neck 15", Wrist 7 1/8", Forearm 10 7/8", Upper Arm 13.5", Hips 47
My weight loss is slowing down considerably. But it's fluctuating as well. A couple weeks ago, I got down to 205. I was soooo happy! I had finally passed the 50lb mark, and 199 was looking very close. I wanted to post on that day, but I got busy. It's not that I got too confident. I think in fact I became more strict with myself. For a long time I was only eating about 900-1000 calories per day. I was eating about 100 grams of carbs as well.
First, I tried increasing my caloric intake. However, my carbs increased as well. So, I started doing a modified Atkins diet and started losing again. The problem came in two weekends this month. I wasn't as strict with myself. I expected to gain a couple of pounds like I always do, but last weekend I gained a whopping 4 pounds! I have found that it's so much harder to lose the weight for the second time.
It's sad because all I wanted to do was have fun with my friends. We had a couple over and along with my vegan food, I had a few pieces of banana nut bread. I thought since I had eaten better during the day that I could afford it. The next day, we had Chinese with them and then a snow cone. Now, I don't usually do that. But we were having fun. Everyone was having one. It was a sweltering day, and I really enjoyed that snow cone! But that night we also had fast food. I should have known better.
I feel like I'm never going to be able to let up on dieting for the rest of my life. I already knew that, but I thought an occasional slip up would be OK. I guess not. I guess I'm always going to have to be the odd man out. The one who passes up a slice of cake. Or a snow cone. Or whatever is the treat of the day. Because I can't afford these slip ups. It's hard for me to come to terms with that. My body has changed significantly, but I still can't just relax and enjoy it. It's going to be a constant battle with my body. Even though I'm not super happy about it, I know it's just something I have to do. I have to trade a little fun for my health.
So now, I'm eating between 1,200 and 1,500 calories. I need to keep it at 1,200 though and limit the carbs. I lost a couple pounds this week, but I won't be able to breathe easy till I get past 205. I hate going backwards and staying there for so long! I was so confident that I'd be able to get down to 199 by the end of June, and here we are on the last day of June. Just goes to show you that it's not always as easy as you think.
I gotta stay positive!! I've got to look for ways to work through a plateau. I've incorporated weights and abs on most days of the week along with my workout video. I feel like I'm training for an Olympic marathon, lol.
Measurements: Waist 44", Bust 41.5" (wow!), Thigh 19 1/8", Calf 17", Neck 15", Wrist 7 1/8", Forearm 10 7/8", Upper Arm 13.5", Hips 47
Thursday, June 9, 2011
210.2
I'm starting to feel like a different person. Today I got my hair cut and I almost didn't recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. Finally, my face is beginning to look more defined. When I got home, I snapped a few pics of my new haircut and I compared those pics to those of just a month ago and my face is more defined and my neck tendons are showing. I'm very pleased.
What was strange is that this is the first time I've ever met this hair dresser. She asked how much weight I had lost. When I asked how she knew I had lost weight, she said she could just tell when someone has lost weight. That was eye opening! I've never had someone notice something like that about me after knowing me for only 10 minutes.
I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday which was unrelated to my diabetes. My doctor was praising me for my continued weight loss. It had been a month since I'd seen her last and she said that it looked like I had lost more weight. I confirmed and said that I had lost about another 10 lbs, and she looked at my chart and said it had been 11! :)
It hasn't been easy trying to get over another two weeks of stalled weight loss. But I've had a really good week so far. This just encourages me to stick with it even when it seems like I'm going nowhere or even backward. Last weekend I did so much better and even saw that I had lost a pound on Saturday morning. So, I just really have to be diligent and not let myself slip even though I've made so much progress.
I still almost don't believe it. I'm almost to my Goal weight of 199. It's looming closer and closer, I can feel it.
Waist 44.0", Hips 47", Thigh 20", Bust 44", Upper arm 13.5", Calf 17", Wrist 6.34", Neck 15.25"
What was strange is that this is the first time I've ever met this hair dresser. She asked how much weight I had lost. When I asked how she knew I had lost weight, she said she could just tell when someone has lost weight. That was eye opening! I've never had someone notice something like that about me after knowing me for only 10 minutes.
I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday which was unrelated to my diabetes. My doctor was praising me for my continued weight loss. It had been a month since I'd seen her last and she said that it looked like I had lost more weight. I confirmed and said that I had lost about another 10 lbs, and she looked at my chart and said it had been 11! :)
It hasn't been easy trying to get over another two weeks of stalled weight loss. But I've had a really good week so far. This just encourages me to stick with it even when it seems like I'm going nowhere or even backward. Last weekend I did so much better and even saw that I had lost a pound on Saturday morning. So, I just really have to be diligent and not let myself slip even though I've made so much progress.
I still almost don't believe it. I'm almost to my Goal weight of 199. It's looming closer and closer, I can feel it.
Waist 44.0", Hips 47", Thigh 20", Bust 44", Upper arm 13.5", Calf 17", Wrist 6.34", Neck 15.25"
Thursday, May 26, 2011
214.4 Progress
Well, after my setback, I had some significant progress.
Usually I gain 3 lbs after the weekend. Last weekend, I thought would be a repeat. I didn't do so well as usual, and my parents invited us over for dinner Sat evening. I had a salad and a little bit of their greasy chili. So, I was expecting to gain a little.
However, when I stepped on the scale Monday morning, I had actually lost a pound! I was 216.4! I suspect it has something to do with the fact that we've been pretty broke lately and haven't eaten out much. I've been having to get stuff at the store to eat during the weekend. I think we only ate out breakfast once. So, I was pretty stoked about that! I hope that continues which may mean an even bigger loss of convenience...but I know it's worth it.
One big change I've made is that I'm no longer walking at the college (for now). I needed to increase my physical activity. I started doing a combo of walking at the college and the exercise tape, but the time it was taking was really cutting into my day. So, now I'm just doing a 30 min intense video. I was doing a 45 min. one but Comcast decided to take it off >:o. But the 30 min one seems more intense anyway, and seeing how I'm still losing weight, I'm going to stick with it for a while. It really makes me sweat! I don't have to put up with burning my face every day with sunscreen and don't have to worry about being run over. I still like a good walk, but will probably reserve that for leisure time.
You know it really irks me that no one but my husband has noticed my weight loss. I mean, you would think that someone could tell I've lost 43 lbs. No one has said anything. Maybe it's because when you have to lose 100+, 43 lbs doesn't make much of a dent in appearances. But I mean, I've lost several dress sizes and my clothes are falling off! It's not that I need constant praise or anything, but it would be nice to at least be recognized for all the hard work I'm doing. Thank goodness I have a loving husband who tells me so all the time, but sometimes you just want some women to notice, lol! When I told my Dad how much I lost, he doesn't seem to believe me. I think it's because they don't see me day in and day out and don't notice those subtle changes. There are some disadvantages to people noticing that you've lost weight. Like, women become jealous and people start asking what you've done to lose weight. That's a tricky question because what works for one person will probably not work for another. And I don't think most people could cut out all added sugar and live on a thousand calories a day.
I'm really starting to get the feeling that 199 isn't far off. Before it seemed so far, but now it's within reach. Only 15 lbs to go. There is no reason why I shouldn't reach it. I would love to get there by my birthday, but that's a long shot. Maybe by the end of June. I really want to treat myself for that! :-) Or maybe someone will treat me...hint hint.
ETA: Thighs-20" Last reading was 23" :-)
Usually I gain 3 lbs after the weekend. Last weekend, I thought would be a repeat. I didn't do so well as usual, and my parents invited us over for dinner Sat evening. I had a salad and a little bit of their greasy chili. So, I was expecting to gain a little.
However, when I stepped on the scale Monday morning, I had actually lost a pound! I was 216.4! I suspect it has something to do with the fact that we've been pretty broke lately and haven't eaten out much. I've been having to get stuff at the store to eat during the weekend. I think we only ate out breakfast once. So, I was pretty stoked about that! I hope that continues which may mean an even bigger loss of convenience...but I know it's worth it.
One big change I've made is that I'm no longer walking at the college (for now). I needed to increase my physical activity. I started doing a combo of walking at the college and the exercise tape, but the time it was taking was really cutting into my day. So, now I'm just doing a 30 min intense video. I was doing a 45 min. one but Comcast decided to take it off >:o. But the 30 min one seems more intense anyway, and seeing how I'm still losing weight, I'm going to stick with it for a while. It really makes me sweat! I don't have to put up with burning my face every day with sunscreen and don't have to worry about being run over. I still like a good walk, but will probably reserve that for leisure time.
You know it really irks me that no one but my husband has noticed my weight loss. I mean, you would think that someone could tell I've lost 43 lbs. No one has said anything. Maybe it's because when you have to lose 100+, 43 lbs doesn't make much of a dent in appearances. But I mean, I've lost several dress sizes and my clothes are falling off! It's not that I need constant praise or anything, but it would be nice to at least be recognized for all the hard work I'm doing. Thank goodness I have a loving husband who tells me so all the time, but sometimes you just want some women to notice, lol! When I told my Dad how much I lost, he doesn't seem to believe me. I think it's because they don't see me day in and day out and don't notice those subtle changes. There are some disadvantages to people noticing that you've lost weight. Like, women become jealous and people start asking what you've done to lose weight. That's a tricky question because what works for one person will probably not work for another. And I don't think most people could cut out all added sugar and live on a thousand calories a day.
I'm really starting to get the feeling that 199 isn't far off. Before it seemed so far, but now it's within reach. Only 15 lbs to go. There is no reason why I shouldn't reach it. I would love to get there by my birthday, but that's a long shot. Maybe by the end of June. I really want to treat myself for that! :-) Or maybe someone will treat me...hint hint.
ETA: Thighs-20" Last reading was 23" :-)
Thursday, May 19, 2011
217.4 Setbacks
Well, I've official lost about 40lbs. I'm proud of that. Really proud. But that doesn't mean there haven't been setbacks along the way.
The week of my doctor's appt, I didn't lose any weight. The week after, despite still following my program, I gained 3 lbs. I also had a high calorie meal last Sunday. I really regretted that, especially because I knew that I needed to cut back on the weekends.
I went back up to 223 :/ So, I really took to heart what my doctor told me about upping my physical activity. I did try jogging, but it's really painful for me. So, I decided to do a combination of walking and then a workout video. That has helped me lose 6 lbs this week so far. It's been brutal. I've been sweating more than a hog! Oh, and I also cut my calories back down to between 900 and 1,000. I know that's probably not the most healthy thing, but I feel like I have to in order to keep losing weight.
I also feel that I've just recommitted myself to weight loss. Not that I ever gave up. It's just easy to get in a routine that makes you feel like your going nowhere.
I just hope and pray that this was the last plateau that I have before reaching my goals. I reeeeealy want to get down to 199!
The week of my doctor's appt, I didn't lose any weight. The week after, despite still following my program, I gained 3 lbs. I also had a high calorie meal last Sunday. I really regretted that, especially because I knew that I needed to cut back on the weekends.
I went back up to 223 :/ So, I really took to heart what my doctor told me about upping my physical activity. I did try jogging, but it's really painful for me. So, I decided to do a combination of walking and then a workout video. That has helped me lose 6 lbs this week so far. It's been brutal. I've been sweating more than a hog! Oh, and I also cut my calories back down to between 900 and 1,000. I know that's probably not the most healthy thing, but I feel like I have to in order to keep losing weight.
I also feel that I've just recommitted myself to weight loss. Not that I ever gave up. It's just easy to get in a routine that makes you feel like your going nowhere.
I just hope and pray that this was the last plateau that I have before reaching my goals. I reeeeealy want to get down to 199!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
220 lbs-Mini Goal Reached
Yesterday I had my 3 month checkup with my doctor. It went very well. She was very proud of me for losing so much weight. She asked me what I've been doing. She said my blood sugar numbers were perfect and took some bloodwork. She should be getting back with me soon about that, but it all looks good from here. That gave me a little boost. It was exactly the vision I had in my head of what I wanted my doctor's reaction to be to all my hard work. It's what has kept me motivated for so many months. I wanted to prove to her I could do it.
She encouraged me to step up my workout routine so as not to plateau. I've been worried about that some as well. For the last week I've been walking 2 miles for about 45 min. She suggested that I workout for 30 min but intensify it by jogging for two minutes and walking for one. I haven't quite worked up to that yet. The last time I tried jogging I started getting shin splints. I kind of want to wait till I get down to 200 before I start jogging...unless I start to plateau.
One thing I know for sure is that I'm going to have to walk at a different time because we're having highs in the 90's already. This heat is really torturous. We've been talking about getting treadmill too which looks like a good option for weather extremes.
I've increased my daily calorie limit to 1,200 and that seems to be working well. Weekends still prove to be a harder area for me to control. It seems that I always gain 2-3 lbs by Monday. I just wish so badly that we had more healthy convenience foods. But overall, I'm really proud. I weighed in around 222 the morning of my doctor's appointment, so I just about reached the goal of 220 by my visit. No one is perfect!
She said that because I'm doing so well, I can wait 6 months to see her again. By that time, I don't think she will recognize me =)
Oh, and by the way...that dress I've been trying to fit into for two years...fit! I wore it to a funeral last weekend. I also got me some wedge heels to go with it. Funerals are really sad, but I hate to say that I felt really happy about fitting into that dress!
She encouraged me to step up my workout routine so as not to plateau. I've been worried about that some as well. For the last week I've been walking 2 miles for about 45 min. She suggested that I workout for 30 min but intensify it by jogging for two minutes and walking for one. I haven't quite worked up to that yet. The last time I tried jogging I started getting shin splints. I kind of want to wait till I get down to 200 before I start jogging...unless I start to plateau.
One thing I know for sure is that I'm going to have to walk at a different time because we're having highs in the 90's already. This heat is really torturous. We've been talking about getting treadmill too which looks like a good option for weather extremes.
I've increased my daily calorie limit to 1,200 and that seems to be working well. Weekends still prove to be a harder area for me to control. It seems that I always gain 2-3 lbs by Monday. I just wish so badly that we had more healthy convenience foods. But overall, I'm really proud. I weighed in around 222 the morning of my doctor's appointment, so I just about reached the goal of 220 by my visit. No one is perfect!
She said that because I'm doing so well, I can wait 6 months to see her again. By that time, I don't think she will recognize me =)
Oh, and by the way...that dress I've been trying to fit into for two years...fit! I wore it to a funeral last weekend. I also got me some wedge heels to go with it. Funerals are really sad, but I hate to say that I felt really happy about fitting into that dress!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
227.0 30 lbs lost
Today I reached the 30 lb mark! Very proud of myself.
What's impressive to me is that I've been dealing with a very stressful situation with my family and what would usually send me to a corner bingeing on any and everything has actually made me want to eat less. Maybe it's because I'm aware of the effect this could potentially have on my diet. It's like I'm a whole new person the way I'm dealing with things. Hating someone else doesn't mean I have to hate myself.
I realize that I'm going to have to be much more careful on the weekends. I don't use my food journal on weekends. It seems like I always gain a couple pounds back which I subsequently have to lose the following week. This is slowing down my weight loss. I also realize that this may actually be caused by the fact that I'm not eating very much during the week. So, I either need to eat a little more during the week, or cut back on the weekends. I hate cooking on weekends, so I will probably have to eat a few more calories during the week if I can.
It's officially HOT here in Texas and walking is becoming uncomfortable. I'm probably going to have to find a way to exercise early.
Yesterday I sitting was having a very serious conversation when I looked down and noticed that I had crossed my legs. Like a lady. I don't remember the last time I could do that. I just did it without thought, not realizing I had the ability to do so. I had to bring myself back to the conversation I was having because I had become distracted.
It's the simple things you forget.
Measurements: Upper arm 15in, Thigh (at birthmark) 23in, Waist 47.5, Bra 45in, wrist (below bone) 7.25in, calf 17.25in, Neck 16in.
What's impressive to me is that I've been dealing with a very stressful situation with my family and what would usually send me to a corner bingeing on any and everything has actually made me want to eat less. Maybe it's because I'm aware of the effect this could potentially have on my diet. It's like I'm a whole new person the way I'm dealing with things. Hating someone else doesn't mean I have to hate myself.
I realize that I'm going to have to be much more careful on the weekends. I don't use my food journal on weekends. It seems like I always gain a couple pounds back which I subsequently have to lose the following week. This is slowing down my weight loss. I also realize that this may actually be caused by the fact that I'm not eating very much during the week. So, I either need to eat a little more during the week, or cut back on the weekends. I hate cooking on weekends, so I will probably have to eat a few more calories during the week if I can.
It's officially HOT here in Texas and walking is becoming uncomfortable. I'm probably going to have to find a way to exercise early.
Yesterday I sitting was having a very serious conversation when I looked down and noticed that I had crossed my legs. Like a lady. I don't remember the last time I could do that. I just did it without thought, not realizing I had the ability to do so. I had to bring myself back to the conversation I was having because I had become distracted.
It's the simple things you forget.
Measurements: Upper arm 15in, Thigh (at birthmark) 23in, Waist 47.5, Bra 45in, wrist (below bone) 7.25in, calf 17.25in, Neck 16in.
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